


The Girl With The Blue Mane

by LadyLazuli



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Eventual violence, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Love at First Sight, Mafia AU, Organized Crime, References to Drugs, Short, mostly fluff tbh, not soooo graphic don't worry, violence will eventually come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-04-06 19:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14063787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLazuli/pseuds/LadyLazuli
Summary: Peridot has a mission: kill the girl with the blue mane. But soon she'll discover that the girl is not the fearsome criminal that everyone thinks.





	1. Peri Killer

Everyone in the city had heard about the girl with the blue mane. Some said she was just an urban legend, while others swore for their lives that they had seen her. Some said that if you saw her, you should run as fast as possible, because she was completely crazy. Others said that in fact she was a very good person, who helped others with a smile. They said she only went out at night to avoid being seen. There were rumors that she lived in the sewers, and that's why she moved so fast and unseen. Others claimed that her home was on the roofs of buildings, from where her could see everything that happened down in the streets.  
There were only two things that everyone agreed upon when telling the story: First, all those who said they saw her said that the girl with the blue mane was beautiful. They said she was like an angel, that you could stay like an idiot seeing her eyes and her smile, and by the time you could get out of her spell, she would have left. In the second place, and the only thing everyone were sure of, was that the girl with the blue mane was a delinquent. But that was the only affirmation in which they coincided because there the disaster began again. Some said she was a killer, but only attacked other bad guys. Others said that she was dedicated to the bank robbery. Some people even said that the FBI was looking for her for crimes against the government.  
And then there was the simplest: the girl with the blue mane sold drugs. And that was the only real version, and Peridot knew it. That girl of the legends that the kids told in the schools was a simple dealer that worked at night. End of the damn story.  
Of course, she was a very important dealer who worked for Blue Diamond, the leader of one of the largest drug cartels in the city. Although the inhabitants of the city didn't notice, there was a war between drug cartels that happened every day, while everyone thought that the city was more or less safe. War that happened between the employees of Blue Diamond and those of Yellow Diamond, her sister. For those who were aware of the real security situation, just naming the word "Diamond" was a sign of danger. The story said it used to be four diamonds, but the eldest, White Diamond, had expanded her empire to a larger city. On the other hand, the youngest, Pink Diamond, had died several years ago, so the territorial war was between Blue and Yellow. A war in which Blue was winning.  
That was all Peridot knew. And it was thanks to that war that now she was standing in a dark alley after midnight. At least the weather wasn't cold. Of course, she would have to do it even if it had been snowing. This was a very important mission for Yellow Diamond.  
Peridot had had a difficult childhood. Her parents had died in a car accident, and she had had to go live with her grandmother, who was too old to take proper care of her. Peridot had to manage on her own to do practically everything, and she had barely finished high school when she realized she had no plans yet. She would like to go to the university, but she had no money, and she had to think about looking for a job. That's how she spent a couple of years in junk jobs here and there, until one day, she was selling heroin for Yellow Diamond.  
She really couldn't complain. The pay was very good, so much so that if she goes on like this, she could finally think about enroll at a university, for real. She wasn't afraid of being discovered. She was a thin and short girl who wore nerd glasses and who didn't seem to have enough strength to throw a ball properly. Nobody suspected her, so she did her job pretty well. She was always an expert in going unnoticed.  
And that was precisely what put her in the current situation. Although at first it sounded impossible for her, Yellow Diamond heard about her gift of going unnoticed in the eyes of everyone and assigned her a special mission.  
As she found out later, Yellow Diamond sent many people to fulfill the mission, but none could achieve it, since they were detected. Some were killed. But if Peridot was so good at being invisible, she sure could. And if she got it, Yellow Diamond would give her such a large sum of money that Peridot could live several years without worrying about anything.  
She had to kill the girl with the blue mane. Until the moment Yellow gave her the mission, Peridot had believed that everything was false, just a legend that the boys told to try to put some excitement to the nightlife of the city. But no, it was real, and Yellow Diamond explained everything. The girl with the blue mane was the reason why Blue Diamond was so rich. According to her boss, the mysterious girl was such a charismatic dealer and her clients were very important people. She was intimidating and strong, so no one messed with her, and the people who saw her didn't accuse her with the police because, despite everything, she used to help those who needed it. She was something like a Robin Hood with heroin and dirty money. Yellow Diamond was convinced that, if the girl with the blue mane disappeared, it would be a matter of time before Blue Diamond's empire collapsed, and she could control the city once and for all.  
Peridot realized that Yellow Diamond was really obsessed with the idea of getting rid of that girl. That's why she offered a lot of money to anyone who fulfilled the mission. Peridot couldn't believe that! Among so many employees, no one could have captured her before. Of course, as she was warned, it wasn't going to be easy. The girl with the blue mane was very clever and knew many of her enemies. Peridot really hoped that her ability to go unnoticed would have worked with her too. Who knows if the girl saw her sometime while working?  
Peridot had been scared but accepted the mission. She had never killed anyone, of course, but she couldn't refuse such good deal. She asked Jasper for advice. Jasper was a tall, muscular girl who had failed to hunt the girl with the blue mane. The only thing Jasper said was _"Don't let that bitch cheat you with her good-girl face. She's a monster"_.  
And there was Peridot, without having a real plan, waiting to see her victim pass by. She had no clue what this girl looked like, except for the obvious thing... but she couldn't go around shooting at all the girls who had their hair dyed blue, right?  
Maybe if she met one of the Blue Diamond's dealers, she could follow them to see if they would guide her to find the girl. No, it was a terrible idea! She couldn't shoot someone in front of her coworkers and hope to get out alive from that.  
Oh, she had no idea how she should start. She had been doing that for two days! She stayed in that dark alley to wait, which wasn't giving her good results. It was very short time, but she knew that Yellow Diamond was going to be very upset if there was no progress in the mission, and the last thing Peridot wanted was to make the leader of a cartel angry.  
Peridot saw passing groups of friends, couples, families... She wondered what it would be like to be a normal person, who spent Friday night having fun instead of standing in the dark waiting to kill someone. Maybe, when all this was over, she could have a little fun at last. That dream was only a shot away...  
"Hello, little girl"  
Peridot turned, and saw a man enter the alley, staggering. He was very tall and wore a long brown coat. Yeah, he was drunk. Peridot didn't respond, pretended not to have seen him.  
"What does a girl like you do alone at this time of night?" the man said, with a drunken voice, approaching more and more  
Peridot started to walk away from him, and maybe try her luck in another alley, when the man reached her and took her by the wrist.  
"Let me go!" the girl demanded, with her nasal voice  
"C'mon, why are you in such a hurry?" the man asked, with a fake smile  
"Let me go or I'm gonna...!"  
"Easy, little one" he said, taking a pocket knife out of his pocket "Now, be good and give me your phone and your money, and you can go"  
Peridot ran deeper into the alley, only to realize that it was blocked by a wire fence that Peridot hadn't seen, as some refrigerator boxes hid it from view. Oh shit.  
No, she wasn't afraid, but if she wanted to go unnoticed, she couldn't kill a drunk man. Yellow Diamond had insisted that she should be very discreet when she walked around with a weapon hidden in her jacket. She shouldn't use it for any nonsense.  
The man was approaching, running awkwardly there, with the pocket knife in his hand. Peridot had to decide. C'mon, she couldn't fulfill the mission if a man stabbed her in an alley, right?  
The man was getting closer. Peridot reached into her jacket, and her fingers barely touched the gun she was carrying, when a figure fell from the sky and brought down the man.  
Peridot was stunned, seeing how the figure dressed in jeans and a black hoodie forced the man to get up and threw him against the wall. Then the figure took the weapon that the man had dropped, and approached him slowly, with the pocket knife shining in their hand. The man, scared, stood up and ran out of the alley, stumbling several times with the trash. The strange figure didn't want to catch him, since they stood there right there. If they had wanted to do something to him, they would have done it without effort.  
Peridot was stunned. The movements of the hooded figure had been so delicate and at the same time so deadly that Peridot could only think about a ninja. Besides, where the hell had they come from?!  
The figure turned to her, and the only thing Peridot could make out from the little light that entered the alley was a large, bright eye. Yes, only one, since the other was covered by a lock of hair.  
Blue hair.  
By the time Peridot reacted and shouted _"Wait!"_ , the girl with the blue mane had climbed up the building's fire escape and climbed on the roof to disappear into the night.

* * *

Yellow Diamond had called her to ask if there was news, to which Peridot replied that she already knew where to find the girl and would soon give her the good news.  
The truth is that everything was a disaster. If she hadn't been so surprised by the entrance of the girl, Peridot would have reacted in time to take out the gun and shoot her. It had been a stupid mistake, she recognized it. The girl had appeared right in front of her, and she had missed the opportunity.  
For that reason, she returned to the same alley the next night. She really hoped that this time no assailant would appear to distract her from her true mission. She was leaning against the wire fence, staring at the roofs for any sign.  
The breeze made her blonde hair move weakly from side to side. In the distance she listened to live music, probably coming from a bar. It would have been a nice night, if not for the matter that had brought her there.  
Actually, she wondered what it would be like to do it. It didn't have much science, right? Pull the trigger and it's done. But... could she pull the trigger? She had read thousands of times that the persons doubted when it came to do it, and everyone felt guilty and things like that, but how would it really be?  
"You don't learn anything, right?"  
Peridot startled and looked behind her. On the other side of the fence, the hooded figure smiled at her.  
_"Do it now!"_ she thought, but for some reason, her arms didn't respond  
"What are you doin' here? Do you wanna get killed? 'Cause I could do it right now"  
Peridot began to tremble. _"Shoot her now!"_ she thought. Maybe it wasn't so easy. She was in front of the legend... Maybe the girl would stab her or something before Peri barely touched her gun with her fingertips.  
"Are you mute or something?"  
"I-I wanted to thank you" Peridot babbled, in a louder voice than usual "For saving me yesterday"  
"And you decided to do it by going back to the place where a drunk guy almost stabbed you?" the girl mocked  
"Yes. Thank you"  
The girl smiled and took off her hood. Peridot was stunned. Whenever they talked about the girl with the blue mane, she imagined a woman in her 30s with a thug face or something. But no. The girl on the other side of the fence was 20 or something like that. Her face was thin, and she had light brown skin. She smiled kindly. Her eyes, huge and blue, seemed to smile as well. She had a vertical scar in her left eyebrow that almost reached her eye.  
And of course, her hair. Long bob style, was very, very messy, and it was dyed electric blue.  
And Peridot confirmed the rumor, the girl with the blue mane looked like an angel. She was the most beautiful girl Peridot had ever seen.  
_"She's a monster"_ Jasper's voice said on her head  
True! She was supposed to kill her. Peridot reached into her jacket, and felt the weapon, but suddenly the girl shook her head, and Peridot was mesmerized to see the blue locks flying from side to side. Then the girl raised an eyebrow and smiled again. Shit, how could she make a scar look so good?  
"Don't come back here, it could be dangerous" she said, and winked  
The girl put her hood back on and repeated her maneuver. She climbed the fire escape, this time from the other building. Damn, she climbed with the skill of a monkey. Peridot's hand trembled, the weapon between her fingers. No, it was too late, she had already disappeared.  
Shit! Was this how it worked? Did she use her charm to distract people? Fuck! What was she doing there? Why did she sell drugs instead of being a model or something?!  
Well, she wasn't going to be able to do it that way. It wasn't going to be like that. She needed her not to leave. She needed her to stay, she needed to get used to seeing her without being hypnotized, and then she would.  
She wasn't an angel. She was a monster. Peridot shouldn't forget it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to this new adventure! :D This is gonna be a short fic, but I hope you like it :3  
> Thank you very much for reading, leave your comments if you liked the chapter nwn Next update soon...


	2. Don't Talk To Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond decides to change Peridot's plans. Now she'll have a new purpose with the girl with the blue mane.

Well, at least the previous two nights hadn't been a complete waste of time. Yes, she had failed as stupidly as possible, but at least she knew where she could find the girl.  
What was she supposed to do? She was going to talk to her, pretend to want to have a conversation with her, and then she would kill her. If she doesn't get distracted by her beauty, of course. No, she couldn't let that face hypnotize her again. That girl was a criminal, a monster that hindered Yellow Diamond's business, and it was she, Peri, who had to do something. Then, she could leave that horrible criminal life behind and start being a normal person. And the only thing that stood between her and that dream was that girl who climbed buildings.  
Peridot was now calculating the profits of the business in the past month. Yellow Diamond had removed her from the streets to look for the girl with the blue mane, but now she was responsible for the accounting. That was pretty good, it was better than enduring annoying customers. In addition, she was closer to her boss, which gave her some protection.  
"So, you found the girl?" Pearl asked, Yellow's nasty assistant, a thin, blond girl with a long nose and a smartass smile  
"Yes, I already did it" Peridot responded, sulking.  
"And why she's not dead yet? Oh, little Peri, maybe this mission is too much for you, don't you think? "  
"Do you think you can do better than me?"  
"Of course, I could do better than you! Just wait until you fail, and my diamond will send me to end this once and for all"  
"Oh yeah? And why didn't she send you before?"  
"For my safety, of course! That girl has killed several of our workers, and my diamond won't want to lose me"  
"Sure, that's for sure..."  
"And of course, I wouldn't take years to kill her, like you. You're just wasting time, aren't you?"  
"Of course not! Soon I'll give you the news that she's dead"  
"I hope so" a deeper voice behind his back said  
Peridot stood up and turned at once, feeling her heart speed up. Yellow Diamond entered the room, slowly. She was a very, very tall woman with short blond hair and cold eyes that seemed capable of killing with a single glance. Behind her was Jasper, Yellow's bodyguard.  
"Good morning, my Diamond" Peridot stammered  
Yellow Diamond didn't respond. She kept walking and sat on a chair facing Peridot, on the other side of the table. Only then, Peridot sat back down. Her heart was still beating very fast. That woman was very intimidating. Everyone said she can kill with her own hands when she really wanted to.  
"So, you have located our little friend?" Yellow Diamond asked  
"Yes, that's right, my Diamond" Peridot answered "I have met her twice in the same place"  
"And why didn't you kill her?" Pearl exclaimed "Frankly, if it had been me..."  
"Have you seen her talk to someone or sell something?" Yellow Diamond asked  
"No, she just... appeared. She talked to me"  
Jasper raised an eyebrow. Yellow Diamond leaned forward and asked, "Did you see her face?"  
"Yes"  
"What does she look like?"  
"Well... She's not older than 25. Blue eyes, small nose. She has a scar on her left eyebrow"  
Yellow Diamond smiled, then turned to Jasper and said "You never mentioned a scar"  
"I didn't see the scar, my Diamond" Jasper answered without flinching "But I remember that she always covered her left eye with her hair"  
"It's true" Peridot confirmed. "That's how I saw her the first time, but yesterday, when she talked to me, she pushed her hair away from her face and I saw the scar"  
"Perfect" the older woman said, "And tell me, what did she say to you?"  
"That it was dangerous to be around so late and that I shouldn't go back"  
"Then she doesn't suspect you?"  
"No, I don't think so"  
"Are you saying she stopped to talk to you... You talked to her, she even had time to show her face, and you couldn't kill her?! Why?" Pearl wanted to know  
Peridot didn't know how to respond, but she didn't have to, 'cause Yellow Diamond intervened again, saying "It's good that you didn't kill her yet"  
"My diamond?"  
"The only thing we knew about that girl was that she had blue hair and blue eyes. There are many girls in this city with those characteristics. But you just gave us one more clue"  
Peridot didn't understand. She already had her cornered, why was that relevant?  
"Jasper, tell everyone this news. I need you all to be very observant" Yellow Diamond indicated "You know what the order is"  
Jasper nodded and stepped out quickly.  
"My Diamond... Can I ask why this is relevant?" Peridot asked  
"That girl is very close to my sister. I would dare to say that she's her right hand. If we locate her during the day, when she is a simple girl and not _'the girl with the blue mane'_ , maybe we can follow her to the place where my sister is hiding and..."  
Peridot nodded. Fuck, of course. That girl was something like a superhero. If the legend said that she only went to her business at night, by day she should be just a normal person.  
"So... I shouldn't kill her..." Peridot murmured  
"No. Not yet" Yellow Diamond said, staring at her "Listen carefully. You'll go back to the place where you saw her, and you'll talk to her. If possible, invite her somewhere, be nice to her. Don't try anything, don't even carry a gun. Just talk to her. Get as much information as possible. Pay attention to how she walks, how she talks, how her laughter is. I want to know everything about her. She's going to guide us towards my sister before we get rid of her"  
"And what if I can't get more information?"  
"If she refuses to talk, I want her dead for tomorrow night, do you understand?"  
"Yes, my diamond"  
"Good job, Peridot"  
"Thank you, my Diamond"  
Pearl looked very indignant, and Peridot smiled at her.  
"And tell me something, how are those figures?" Yellow Diamond asked, looking at the papers Peridot had in front of her.  
"Well, I haven't finished doing the accounts of last week, but for now you see a 10% decrease in sales compared to the previous month" Peridot answered  
Yellow Diamond took a deep breath and looked out the window, saying more to herself than to her interlocutors "My sister's going to pay dearly for all this"

* * *

So, that night Peridot returned to the alley, this time without a weapon to protect herself from the drunks. Shit, what would happen if the girl didn't appear that night? What was she going to say to Yellow Diamond? She had sworn a thousand times that she already had her trapped, she couldn't just go and say, "I was wrong, she didn't appear". The woman was going to kill her if she failed.  
Deep down, it reassured her that the girl hadn't appeared yet. She was mentally preparing to ignore her appearance. That was ridiculous! Peridot had never had a boyfriend, much less a girlfriend. She had never really liked anyone. And suddenly she was dazzled by the look of a girl she had to kill? What kind of bad joke of destiny was that?  
"What do I have to do to get you out of here?"  
Peridot turned, heart racing. Once again, the girl was on the other side of the fence.  
"Did you know I would be here?" Peri asked, "Are you taking care of me or something?"  
"I guess so. What are you doing here?"  
"It's just... I wanna talk to you and you... disappear. That's rude"  
The girl laughed and took off her hood again. This time the impression didn't last as long, since Peridot knew what was coming. Those dark blue eyes seemed to study her with curiosity.  
"Well, then tell me whatever you want" the girl said, smiling  
"Well, I was thinking about... inviting you to dinner"  
The girl laughed and climbed the fence to pass Peridot's side. The blonde stepped back, while the girl approached slowly.  
"A girl appears from nowhere, hits a guy, follows you every night... and you want to invite her to dinner?"  
Peridot was cornered against the wall. The girl was very close to her now. She was a taller, but thinner than her.  
"Why?" the girl insisted "You don't know me, you don't know who I am. You haven't seen me before. I could be a thief, a killer..."  
"Or you could be a good person" Peridot said, nervously  
"But I'm not"  
"You're the girl with the blue mane, right?"  
She smiled. Peridot felt very vulnerable suddenly.  
"I guess so. But there are hundreds of girls in the city with this hair color"  
"But you're the one of... the legends"  
"Then you'll have heard that, in fact, I'm a killer. That I have problems with the FBI and the CIA. That I could kill you using only my hands"  
"But I've also heard good things about you"  
"Why are you here in the first place?"  
"I've heard a lot about you. I'm new in the city and I wanted to know if all that stories were true, and here you are"  
"Here I am"  
"And I'm not afraid of you"  
"Oh, no?"  
"Nope"  
"I'm gonna make you afraid"  
Peridot didn't look away, but she was terrified. They said it wasn't easy to deceive her. She sure already knew everything. This was her end.  
"I accept your invitation" the girl said at last  
"Really?"  
"Sure, where do you wanna go?"  
Peridot shrugged. The girl smiled and said "I know a place, if you allow me to suggest"  
"Yeah, of course"  
The girl finally separated from her and walked towards the exit of the alley. Peridot let out a big sigh of relief and went after her. C'mon, she must do something to get useful information...  
"My name's Peridot" she said, arriving at her side  
The girl hid her left eye under a lock of her hair, looked at her and said "Lapis Lazuli"

* * *

Along the way, Peridot didn't talk too much, she just followed her. She didn't even know what to say, and she didn't notice anything special about the way she moved. But she noticed that she was wearing the same clothes every night. Blue jeans and black hoodie. Her hands were in her hoodie pocket, and when they pass by through certain alleys, she put out her hand to give something to some guys. On the first occasion, Peridot had asked "Don't you worry about me reporting you to the police right now?", to which Lapis Lazuli replied "You won't do it if you know what's best for you"  
Peridot had believed that the blue-haired girl would lead her to a secret place full of criminals or something, but in fact she took her to a normal diner, like any other, and ordered burgers and fries.  
"You know, I thought the criminals frequented... more elegant places" Peridot commented  
"They do it, when you're the head of an international cartel or something like that" the girl replied  
"Hey, and if you're a legend and all that, why are you coming to dinner at a public place?"  
"Because you invited me. Besides, I already told you, there are hundreds of girls that look like me"  
Peridot was surprised by the treatment she was receiving from her. She wasn't the best conversationalist, but she wasn't rude either. She might even be nice.  
"Tell me the truth" she asked "Why are you looking for me?"  
"I already told you. I heard about you and wanted to know if you were real"  
"You heard about a fucking killer and decided to find her"  
"Actually, I don't think you're a killer. You don't look like it"  
"That would make my work much easier, don't you think?"  
"But you're not gonna kill me"  
The girl smiled and began to eat in silence. Peridot couldn't stop looking at her. She looked so sure of herself, as if she knew exactly what was going on around her. She couldn't see a hint of worry or fear in her.  
"Mmm... Lapis Lazuli? Don't you worry that someone will hear this and report you to the police?" Peridot insisted  
"Just call me Lapis. And nope. The people wouldn't accuse me"  
"Why not?"  
Lapis didn't respond. Peridot felt a cold sweat on her back. Was it that this girl who looked like an angel had threatened the whole city? Was she so lethal? So dangerous? So powerful?  
"Sorry for so many questions, is that I don't understand" Peridot said  
"What you don't understand?"  
"You are a known and wanted criminal, but you let me see your face and you accepted a date with me"  
"Ahh… then this is a date?"  
"No, no, no! I didn't mean that! I…"  
"Look, I'm not afraid of getting into trouble. I'm not hiding, it's not a secret to anyone that I'm a criminal. I'm not doing anything bad now, am I? There are many more less discreet dealers that the police can catch to entertain themselves. Besides, I don't understand why a girl like you came looking for a criminal"  
"A girl like me?"  
"Yes... You know what I mean"  
Peridot didn't know if she should feel offended. Damn it, she was going to kill her, and she was doubting her? Wait, that was good. But it didn't stop surprising how Lapis spoke so lightly of all that in front of someone she had just met. She was definitely so powerful that she wasn't afraid of being caught. Well, she must be afraid of her!  
Or maybe she was just stupid and arrogant. Or maybe even she wasn't the girl she was looking for. Yes! How could such a young girl be a threat to Yellow Diamond? Maybe she was a simple dealer who was posing as the real girl with the blue mane.  
That thought dissipated as she remembered what Jasper had said. Lapis was beautiful. Or perhaps all the people who worked for Blue Diamond were? No, no, there was also the scar. And by the way, just at that moment, Lapis had her hair behind her ears, which allowed Peridot to examine her scar. It started just above her eyelid, crossed her eyebrow, and advanced another half an inch to her forehead. She wondered how she had got it, and how lucky she wasn't to lose her eye when that happened.  
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lapis asked, this time with some annoyance in her voice. Oh no, she shouldn't make her mad!  
Peridot said the first thing that came to her mind "It's just you're very pretty"  
She realized what she had said and felt that she was blushing up to her ears. Lapis laughed. Her laughter was beautiful too, noisy and contagious, especially 'cause she snort when she laugh. Peri smiled. Oh man! That laugh was adorable. Lapis ran her right hand through her hair, and Peri could see that she was wearing a blue watch. How strange, normally they were used in the left hand.  
"Thank you" Lapis said, still laughing "You're pretty too"  
That made Peri even more nervous. Lapis stopped laughing and looked at her, smiling.  
"You know, even though I don't really understand you, I'm having fun with you" Lapis commented, still smiling  
"But I haven't even talked so much" Peridot muttered, somewhat surprised  
"I think you're one of those people who don't need to talk to make the other have a nice time"  
Peri shrugged a little and took a swig from her milkshake. Lapis munching some fries. Then, she spoke with her mouth full "But I'm gonna make you afraid of me, so you don't come back anymore"  
Peridot looked at her, but Lapis had already looked down at her burger again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Peri xD  
> Thank you for reading guys, I hope you're liking this story :3


	3. Behind Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _No one knows what it's like_   
>  _To be the bad man, to be the sad man_   
>  _Behind blue eyes_   
>  _No one knows what it's like_   
>  _To be hated, to be fated_   
>  _To telling only lies_   
>  _But my dreams they aren't as empty_   
>  _As my conscience seems to be..._

At that moment, Peridot knew that she was fucked up. As much as she had wanted to said a thousand excuses, Lapis insisted on showing her her house. Her house, damn it! Lapis knew it. Lapis knew who Peridot was, and she was going to get rid of her.  
At least that was what Peridot believed. Lapis, on the other hand, wasn't smiling as much as she had been a while ago. She was more serious, and her answers were increasingly sarcastic and short. Oh, dear, she was going to kill her and no one was going to worry about it! Her grandmother barely remembered who she was, and Yellow Diamond would send another employee to complete the mission when she was dead! And why? Because she didn't have the guts to shoot her from the beginning. Damn it, now she would be in some other city with a lot of money instead of following the girl through increasingly lonely streets, where there weren't even many houses, only vacant lots. In a moment, at last, they left the streets behind, and began to walk along a dirt road, where the only sign of civilization was vacant lots delimited by wire fences.  
"L-Lapis?" she murmured, seeing the bright eyes of a dog in one of the vacant lots "It's late, you know? They must be waiting for me at home..."  
"Are you afraid now?" Lapis asked, with a mocking smile  
"N-no but..."  
"You will be"  
And what if she ran? Lapis wasn't looking at her, she could run and try to hide in some alley and... But what was she thinking?! She was with the girl with the blue mane! She was like Batman, she knew every alley and hiding place in the city! She was completely lost. She would have to ask for clemency... No, the better she would shut up and not talk any more, 'cause if Lapis didn't kill her, sure Yellow Diamond would.  
"We're here" Lapis said  
Lapis stopped. They were facing what appeared to be some kind of abandoned factory or something. It was a big, square building, in the middle of nowhere.  
"We're far away, right?" Peridot asked  
"Yep. Nobody could hear someone screaming"  
Peridot felt a cold sweat on her back. Lapis turned and looked at her, searching for the keys in her pocket.  
"Okay, you win. I wanna leave" Peridot demanded, her voice cracking. She felt that she was going to vomit out of fear. Why she had to obey Yellow Diamond? She must have carried the gun with her!  
"It's too late for that"  
Lapis opened the door and stepped aside to let her pass. Peridot thought to flee, but come on, she hadn't the slightest chance. She was lost, it was time to start saying her prayers.  
She moved forward and entered the room. It was a dark place, very spacious. There were no divisions, it was like a huge empty warehouse or something. At the other side was an entrance to a corridor, but because of the poor lighting, Peri could no longer see what was beyond.  
"Home, sweet home" Lapis said, closing the door  
As if things weren't bad enough already, Peridot saw some people sitting on a ramshackle couch that was right in the center of the place, watching a television that was on the floor.  
"I'm back!" Lapis announced  
Those people turned to look. One of them pulled out a gun and pointed at Peridot, who let out a cry of surprise.  
"Calm down, she's harmless" Lapis said, not caring, and moved toward them. Peridot hesitated for a second but went after her. Sure, approach the weapon that points to your head.  
"Lapis, what does this mean?!" a pale, long-nosed girl who looked familiar to Peri exclaimed  
"Easy Pearl, she's just a friend"  
Wow, just what she needed. Another Pearl. Wow, she did look a lot like the Pearl she knew, except that this hair was peachy, not blond, and definitely looked a lot less arrogant. Maybe they were family.  
"Lapis..."  
"Pearl, where is your hospitality?"  
The other girl, dark-skinned, small and chubby, was still pointing the gun at her.  
"Could put down the gun?" Peridot asked  
"I could blow your head off with a bullet" the girl replied  
Peri babbled a few words, but in the end the girl laughed and said "I'm kidding! It's not even loaded. Where did you come from, half pint? "  
"I found her in a cereal box" Lapis answered  
"Lapis, this is not fun. You must not bring people here!" the girl with the long nose, Pearl, claimed  
"Don't worry! Where's Garnet? "  
"She left" the chubby girl said  
"Wow, thanks for the information"  
"Lapis, I'm serious" Pearl continued.  
"Me too! Trust me, you'll never see her again"  
Peridot felt her soul go to her feet. Lapis led her into the dark corridor that Peridot had seen before.  
"Oh, c'mon Lapis! Don't hurt her too much" she heard the voice of the smallest girl behind her back  
"Amethyst is very funny, don't you think?" Lapis said  
Peridot didn't respond. Lapis turned on the light in the corridor and saw a series of doors on either side of it. Lapis walked towards the one until the end and opened the door. She didn't say anything, but Peri knew that she was directing her to enter first.  
All right. That was the end. Sure it was a torture chamber, and there would be blood everywhere. She wish everything was fast...  
No. Lapis turned on the light, and Peridot found herself in a small room, where there was only a desk and a bed. But what the fuck...?  
"What are we doing here?" Peridot asked  
"I told you I'd bring you to my house" Lapis answered, closing the door and sitting on the desk chair. Then, she nodded to Peri that she could sit on the bed, which she obeyed. She look around. The room was gray, but it had a huge window facing the outside. In the distance you could see the glow of the city, and on this, thousands of stars. Actually, it was a very nice view.  
"So... you live here?" Peridot asked. Maybe talking kept her alive longer  
"Sometimes" Lapis replied  
"What do you mean?"  
"Hey, in my job you can't live in just one place. They would catch you"  
"So, you really are a criminal..."  
"You thought I was kidding? Dear god, Peridot! I'm the girl with the blue mane, and everything they say about me is fucking true"  
"Is the CIA looking for you?!"  
"Well, maybe not everything"  
"And... who were those girls?"  
"My roomies. Other criminals just as dangerous"  
"And what am I doing here? Why... Why did you tell her she would never see me around again?"  
" 'Cause she won't see you again. Never"  
Lapis opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out a gun. She loaded it and pointed it at Peridot right to the heart. She didn't move, nor did she say anything. Oh, God...  
"This is what I do, you understand? I kill people. I sell drugs. I steal. I'm a fucking criminal"  
"You said that everything they said about you was true" Peridot stammered, trembling, still looking at the gun.  
"Yes"  
"They also say good things about you. You... You wouldn't kill an innocent person"  
Lapis got up, went over to Peridot, and this time she put the gun barrel on the girl's forehead. Peridot's breathing accelerated.  
"Are you innocent, Peridot?"  
She didn't respond, nor did she move. She didn't even dare to breathe. Oh god, Lapis knew who she was. Well, maybe she deserved it... How had she believed she can fulfill that mission? She had been such an idiot. Fuck, it was time to say goodbye to the world...  
For a few seconds that seemed like hours, Lapis kept the gun there, but in the end, she put it down and left it on the desk. Peridot took a deep breath and removed her glasses, so she could rinse the tears from her eyes.  
"Some of the good things they say about me are true" Lapis murmured, looking out the window "But I'm not a good person"  
"Yes, you are" Peridot dared to say. Great, she was going for more...  
"What?"  
"Yes, you are. You're a good person"  
"Why do you say that?"  
"Why am I still alive? You didn't kill me and you could do it. I don't think you're that bad"  
Lapis looked at her. Peridot understood everything now. Right now, she looked frightening. She was no longer an angel. Now she was a monster. Well, that's what everyone was referring to...  
"Listen carefully, Peridot. Do you know where you are?"  
She shook her head. Maybe if she could take the gun... No, what was she thinking? Her accomplices were out there. Better still talking to keep her occupied.  
"This is where we live some of the most powerful dealers in the city. Right now, you are surrounded by drugs. There are drugs everywhere. We're capable of killing whoever gets in our way. If a cop sees you leaving here, he's gonna arrest you. Do you understand that?"  
Peridot nodded. Oh god, if that was true, Yellow Diamond was going to be very happy. Of course, if she came out alive...  
"So, stop going to that alley to find me. Stay at home. Go out with your friends, I don't care what you do, but I don't wanna see you in that alley again. Actually, I don't wanna see you anywhere. I don't wanna see you again, you understand? Stay away. You don't wanna get involved with me. If you did all this for a bet or something, go with your friends and tell them you did it, that you even know my name. Invent a new rumor about me. Do what you want with this experience. But I don't wanna have anything to do with you. You don't wanna have anything to do with me"  
Peridot swallowed. Lapis was serious. Only an idiot would dare to return. Well, Peridot was pretty idiot...  
"Now, you're gonna leave here and you'll go back to the city. I'll watch you get safe. I only warn you one thing: if you reveal the location of this place, I'll destroy you. You can say everything else, I don't care. But from now on, make this kind of adventure stay in your video games that you said you liked so much. Out of my sight. Do you understand?"  
"Yes"  
"All right. Let's go, I'm gonna get you out of here"  
No! Seriously? That was going to be that easy? Was she really going to get out of that alive? My God, she almost let out a shout of joy... But she couldn't. She knew she had to go back, no matter how much she hated that mission. She swallowed and dared to speak again "I wanna see you again another day"  
"It's a damn joke? Didn't you hear what I told you?!" Lapis exclaimed, who seemed willing to slap her for her stubbornness. Peridot understood her, she also hated herself at that moment.  
"Yes. But I wanna see you again"  
"Why? Don't you understand that I could kill you if I wanted to?! I fucking threatened you with a weapon"  
"You didn't pull the trigger. I... Yes, I'm afraid of you, you win. But I know you're not gonna kill me. You're good, and I wanna know you. And I won't tell anyone anything. I'm here by my will, and even if you had blown my brains out with the gun, it would have been worth it 'cause I could meet you"  
"Damn, you're completely crazy"  
Lapis got up and opened the door. Peridot got up and left the room. None said anything, both walked to the door, and again passed the girls.  
"Ohhh that was all Lapis?" Amethyst said "I thought you were good at that! What a disappointment!"  
Lapis didn't respond. She and Peridot left the place in the darkness of the night.  
"What did she mean?" Peridot asked  
"I like girls" Lapis said in response  
Peridot felt herself blush once more. Lapis started to walk, and Peridot followed her. Oh shit, that had been an interesting night! Yellow Diamond would be very proud of her! Oh god! She couldn't believe that Lapis believed the whole story! She couldn't believe she didn't suspect! She couldn't believe she was still alive!  
They arrived where the paved streets began. Peridot knew that the girl was going to leave her there, but deep down, she would have liked her to accompany her for a while longer.  
"Peridot, listen to me. I don't wanna see you again" Lapis said, in a calm voice, but with a very serious tone  
"Don't you like me?" she asked, trying to sound as innocent as she could  
"Yes, I like you, that's why it's better that you move away now. I don't wanna hurt you, or hurt you because of me. Get away"  
All right! Lapis had said she liked her. That was good, right? She had to take advantage. She was beginning to realize that Lapis might not be as rough as she seemed. And Peri could approach that sensitive side of her...  
"I have a better idea: tell me where I can see you tomorrow" she asked, with a slight smile  
"Seriously? Are you asking me for a date?" Lapis questioned her, surprised  
"Only if you want it to be a date"  
Lapis frowned. Peridot dared to smile a little more.  
"In the north park, at 8:00 p.m." Lapis replied at last  
"I'll see you there then. And thanks for not shooting me"  
"Maybe next time you won't be so lucky"  
Peridot waved goodbye. And she started walking, trying to look calm. Wait a minute... She had just asked the girl with the blue mane for a date? Really? Brilliant Peridot! She was just going to get herself killed for real... She kept walking, faster and faster. Maybe later, when Lapis could no longer see her, she could vomit.

* * *

**POV Lapis**  
"Just make sure you tell everyone to see that you get home safely" Lapis said before hanging up the phone. She couldn't help it. She had called one of the other dealers to ask him and the others on the streets to make sure nothing happened to the little blonde.  
She entered the "house", closing the door behind her. And then, as she knew it would happen, she heard Pearl's voice say "Can you explain to me what all of that was? Who was she?!"  
"Nobody, and nothing happened, it was just a girl who followed me and I wanted to scare her"  
"Oh, sure! That's why you brought her here! And if she gives our location to someone?!"  
"She won't, she's just a nerd who wanted to live an exciting night. Also, we're not always here, it doesn't matter. We don't even have so much merchandise"  
"Blue Diamond won't be happy to know this"  
"Are you gonna tell her?"  
"Well, no, but..."  
"Thanks! It's over"  
"Lapis! You can't be so irresponsible!"  
"I'm a criminal, I don't have to be responsible"  
Amethyst laughed. Lapis also smiled and, without saying anything else, went to her room. The first thing she saw when closing the door was the weapon on the desk. She sighed. Shit, that had been terrible, and it didn't help. She turned off the light, took off her shoes and lay down on the bed, looking out the window.  
Maintaining the role of bad girl was hard work, who knows how she could keep it so long. She almost got out of character when she saw Peridot start to cry when she pointed the gun at her. And no. It didn't help.  
She never really wanted to hurt her, she just wanted to scare her so she wouldn't want to go back, but she didn't understand what was wrong with her! Why did she insist? Lapis didn't want her to get in trouble for being close to her. But whose fault was it? Of her, of course. Why did she have to talk to her in the first place?! If she had ignored her, maybe she wouldn't have come back for her. Dammit. She and her stupid mouth...  
Even so, deep down, she wanted to see her again. And she couldn't resist, that's why she had agreed to see her the next day. She was acting like an idiot. But Peridot seemed so, so pretty...  
She punched her pillow. She wish she was a normal person. Maybe in another life, she would have run into Peridot in the street, talked to her and invited her out. They would have fun together, and then Lapis would ask her to be her girlfriend.  
But that wouldn't work. She couldn't be so selfish. She couldn't have anyone in her life without danger. What if she kept seeing Peridot, and one day some of the Yellow Diamond employees hurt the little blonde? She could never forgive herself for that.  
It was the only thing she regretted being who she was. The girl with the blue mane. Lapis had fun listening to the rumors about her. They made her look like a kind of demented superhero. It was ridiculous. If they knew what she was like in reality, she wouldn't seem so fantastic to them.  
Lapis had grown up on the street. She never knew her parents, maybe they had just abandoned her in an alley or something. She didn't remember much of her early years. Her memories began when she and other street children went to an old lady's house on the outskirts of the city. She fed them and let them sleep in her house. Of course she died later, and Lapis had to make do with small jobs in the local market, where she was given a couple of bucks to help out at fruit stands or things like that.  
Until she turned 7, and she found Blue Diamond. The woman had found her one day that she was looking for a safe place to sleep. She had offered her a safe place, in exchange for bringing a small package to a man in a park. A simple task that at first she didn't understand. She simply crossed the park with a small box under her arm and gave it to a man with a mustache. End of the task.  
That's how it all began. Lapis grew up carrying drug packages, until she grew enough to be able to sell herself. In return, she had a place to sleep, food, was sent to school and was paid very well. The only condition that Blue Diamond gave her was that she was completely forbidden to use drugs. She couldn't taste the merchandise, she couldn't smoke or drink. She needed her always alert.  
Lapis had been in charge of maintaining the business by locating the workers of Yellow Diamond, stealing their merchandise and their money and giving them to Blue. Thus, little by little Yellow began to lose territory. Sometimes Lapis stole about fifty dollars. Others, several thousands. Little by little she was destroying Yellow's empire, and Blue was so pleased with her work that she was now like her right hand.  
Lapis loved Blue, and knew that Blue loved her. Blue was a very good woman. Much of the profits from the business were donated to charity anonymously. She had built schools, houses for the homeless, and bought equipment for hospitals. And she never showed her face, everything was done anonymously. And in fact, Blue didn't live in a large mansion as everyone might expect. She spent the nights in the same places as her girls, sometimes in one place, sometimes in another. She even had a room in that ramshackle place. The money from the business was to support the workers, and to be donated, nothing was left for unnecessary luxuries. Lapis was sure she just wanted to expand her territory to annoy her sister, who was a shitty bitch.  
Lapis had learned a lot from Blue. She had helped many people, and maybe that's why all that legend had been created around her. That's why people feared her, but they also loved her. That's why street merchants smiled at her and greeted her as she passed, despite knowing who she was. So yes, Lapis was a good person... more or less. At least that was what she believed.  
That's why it took so much work to behave like a "bad girl" that night. But it had been necessary. She needed to get Peridot away from the world of drug trafficking. And yet, she also wanted to keep her close and protect her herself. Ahhh! She hated herself so much for what she felt... She was being very selfish. If she stopped thinking about her own feelings, she would never have accepted that invitation from Peridot, she would have simply told her "no"... Oh, no! But she had to accept! It was just that... She really wanted to see her again... Being with Peri, she felt like a normal girl...  
But she wanted Peridot to hate her. She wanted Peridot to be afraid of her. She wanted Peridot to get away from her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank you for the great acceptance you're having with this story! You're great, guys! :D


	4. Bad To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Just as long as you let me know, you won't be bad to me_  
>  Their first... date?

Well, Peridot didn't know what game she was playing. As expected, Yellow Diamond was very pleased with her work, and that she had earned Lapis' trust so quickly. She had already informed her a little more about the girl. About her particular laugh, which had several piercings in her ears and that she wore a blue watch in her right hand. And of course, that her name was Lapis. But that wasn't what made Peridot wonder what she was doing. What she really couldn't explain was why she hadn't given Yellow Diamond the exact location of the place where Lapis lived. No, the words didn't come out of her mouth. What she said was that Lapis had mentioned that they had a kind of house on the outskirts of the city, but she didn't mention that she went there. Now she was scared. If Yellow Diamond knew she had lied to her...  
But for now, Yellow was quite happy. The only thing that was talked about was finding Lapis in broad daylight and following her. And Peridot was ordered to see the girl again. So, it was that night when she headed to the North Park, where she was going to meet Lapis.  
Peridot though that Yellow Diamond would send someone else with her, undercover or something. But it wasn't like that. In fact, she gave the order to leave Peridot completely alone. She knew that Lapis was cunning, if she saw anything strange, she would begin to suspect, and it wasn't convenient for anyone that Peridot was no longer "infiltrated."  
Peridot arrived punctually at the park, but only until she was there did she realize that she really didn't know where to meet Lapis. The place was quite large, and there were many people enjoying the night. It smelled of food, and music was heard and the happy voices of those who didn't care to please the leader of a drug cartel.  
"Hey"  
Peridot turned, and saw Lapis standing behind her. This time her hoodie wasn't black, but gray, and she wasn't wearing the hood. Outside of that, she was wearing the same clothes of the past nights. As always, her bangs hid her scar.  
"Hi!" Peridot greeted "I was gonna look for you"  
"I'm here" Lapis said, shrugging.  
"And what do you want to do?"  
"You invited me, remember?"  
"You did it... right?"  
"Mmm... No. You invited me. I just choose the place and the time "  
"Okay... Do you want a beer?"  
"I don't really drink"  
"No? Okay... An ice cream?"  
Lapis shrugged. She and Peri went to an ice cream parlor that was near there, bought the ice cream and went back to the park, where they sat on a bench. Peri just couldn't believe it. The most hated criminal by Yellow Diamond was sitting next to her, eating strawberry ice cream. She wondered if the people who passed by them, ignoring them, at least had a slight suspicion that this blue-haired girl was "the girl with the blue mane". Probably not. It's just... Peri just had to look at her! How dangerous could be a girl who gave little bites with her lips to her ice cream, and every once in a while, she wiped her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie? It just seemed unreal. Lapis couldn't pose such a big threat...  
"Peri?" Lapis said, suddenly  
"Yes?"  
"Wanna go to a great place?"  
"A great place? Mmm... is it safe? "  
"I guess you'll have to come to find out"  
Peri was speechless. Lapis smiled a little, as if to encourage her, so Peri had no choice but to reply "Sure, yes"  
Lapis stood up and put her free hand in her pocket. Peridot also stood up. She expected that, wherever that "great place" was, she wouldn't end the night with a gun pointed at her head.

* * *

Well, okay. When Lapis said "a great place", she had thought of a cafeteria, a restaurant, maybe even some other "mafia house". But no. Lapis opened the door to what was the rooftop of the tallest building in the city.  
"Oh my god..." Peridot muttered. She moved slowly towards the parapet. From there, the other buildings seemed small, not to mention the small houses. And the cars were just a couple of lights that moved here and there. She could hardly distinguish people, everything was so small...  
Peri stop looking down and looked at the sky. She saw a helicopter and a couple of planes circling, preparing for the landing at the airport. The stars looked different, brighter than Peridot remembered.  
"What do you think?" Lapis asked, standing on the edge of building. Then, as incredible as it appears, she did a handstand  
"Are you crazy?! You're gonna fall! Get out of there" Peridot exclaimed, after giving a cry of terror, taking a step back  
“Do you care about me or something?"  
Peridot nodded. Although if Lapis fell, she wouldn't have to kill her...  
"Don't worry, I've done this a thousand times" Lapis said, getting up and walking slowly over the edge.  
Peridot swallowed. They were about 50 stories high. She wouldn't have dared to stand on the edge, even if her life depended on it.  
"Do you come here often?" she asked, wishing Lapis would come down from there  
"Sometimes, yes. Although it's much easier to take the elevator than to climb the wall"  
Peridot looked horrified, and Lapis let out one of her characteristic laughs.  
"I'm just kidding, silly. I'm not so crazy "  
"Well, great. Now come here"  
Lapis jumped down and leaned on the edge, looking at Peridot. She came closer and looked down again.  
"I did a favor to the owner of this place, that's why he lets me go up here whenever I want"  
"Did you do him a favor? Woah, you must be very important "  
"I don't know... So, you like it?"  
"The view is beautiful"  
Lapis also looked down. Peridot looked at her sidelong. The girl's blue hair was fluttering on the cold wind. She was smiling, looking at infinity. Oh, she was beautiful... Peri felt butterflies in the stomach.  
"Peri, I wanna tell you something" Lapis said suddenly, erasing her smile  
"You're not gonna throw me from here?" she teased.  
"No... I don't think so"  
"Tell me then"  
"I just... I wanted to apologize for how I behaved yesterday"  
Peridot looked at her without understanding, hoping she was joking or something. But no. The look in those blue eyes was sincere.  
"Why?"  
"Why? Well, 'cause I behaved like a fool and I pointed a gun at you. It didn't have bullets, but it wasn't good"  
"Wait, it didn't have bullets?!"  
"Nope"  
"Then what was all that?"  
Lapis giggled and sighed before answering "I wanted to scare you"  
"Yes, I know, but why?"  
"Look, it's complicated... I'm not a good person. I don't want you to be near me, I already told you. I don't wanna hurt you"  
"But…"  
"But! That's the question. You insist on looking for me! Why do you make it so difficult?"  
"Hey Lapis... Imagine for a moment that you're not a criminal. Would you go out with me?"  
Lapis nodded. Peridot knew she was getting into very dangerous terrain now... "I guess that's why I make it difficult. I like you. For real…"  
"But I don't understand why! You don't know me... "  
"But I want to. I can see you're not as bad as you say"  
Lapis moved away from the parapet and walked from side to side, like a caged lion. Peri prayed that she wasn't angry.  
"Are you okay?" Peri asked  
"No, I'm not okay. Do you know something Peri? I was sure of the things I could and couldn't do. And four days ago, everything I thought changed, you understand?"  
"For me?"  
"Exactly! Do you... Do you believe in love at first sight?"  
Ok, that was too much. Peridot wanted to flee right now, tell Yellow Diamond the whole truth, and ask for someone else to take over. She couldn't handle that situation.  
"I know, it's completely ridiculous" Lapis said, turning her back "For the last time, Peridot... Get away from me"  
Oh, shit. Peridot approached Lapis and put her hand on hers, saying "I don't wanna do it"  
Lapis looked into her eyes for a few seconds, and then kissed her. Yes, without warning or anything. She kissed her, and Peridot, not knowing what else to do, returned the kiss.  
When they separated, Peridot breathed through her mouth making a lot of noise, 'cause she had run out of breath. She had goosebumps and her heart had accelerated. But what the hell had that been?!  
"I'm sorry" Lapis said, and walked away from her, holding her head with both arms.  
Oh shit. That was wrong, that was very bad. But... The girl's lips were... Woah. And the feeling she had now was... Woah!  
Peridot went after her. Lapis was looking down, leaned on the edge again, still with her arms in her head. Was she crying? No, she couldn't be crying...  
"Are you okay?" Peri asked timidly, approaching. It was a relief to realize that Lapis wasn't crying  
"I'm sorry" Lapis repeated, looking forward "It was a stupid impulse"  
"Do... do you believe in love at first sight?"  
"Not until now. It's an idea that always seemed stupid to me, and yet... Well, I don't stop to talk to the people I save. You... I think you're special... Oh, don't listen to me, I don't even know what I'm saying"  
Peridot didn't know what to say. Why her? She didn't consider herself pretty, or interesting. She had just crossed a couple of words with that girl who was very beautiful and definitely very, very interesting. Lapis sat on the edge, and again, Peridot was afraid she would fall.  
"Would you stay with me even if I'm a criminal?" Lapis asked  
"Yes, of course" Peridot said immediately  
"You can still leave if you want"  
"I don't want to"  
Really, all Peridot wanted was to go with Yellow Diamond and ask her to give the mission to someone else. Killing Lapis was one thing. Playing with her feelings before killing her... that was a lot. It was evil and disgusting. Not even Lapis deserved something like that...  
Lapis ran her hand through her hair, ruffling it even more. Peridot put her hand on Lapis' knee. She had to talk about something else, distract her from this whole... romantic thing.  
"Aren’t You Afraid Of Falling?" she asked  
"I've been practicing parkour since I was 12, nothing scares me anymore" Lapis answered, leaning without fear to falling over the edge  
"This is how you move without being seen?"  
"I think so. A hole in the wall is a defect for some people. For me, it's a step, do you understand? "  
"That's an... interesting point of view. Can I ask you something else?"  
"Sure"  
"Why do you wear a watch?"  
Lapis raised an eyebrow and placed her hand in front of Peri, showing her the blue clock. Peridot had believed that, since Lapis must earn a lot of money, it would be a fine watch. But now that she saw it up close, she realized that it was an ordinary watch with plastic straps.  
"It's a weird question" Lapis said, looking at the watch "Many people wear a watch"  
"It's not true. Almost all see the time on the cell phone... or use one of those smartwatches. Or at least, a digital one"  
"Well, I like to see how the seconds hand moves. And the sound"  
"The sound?"  
"Yes, the tick tock. If you wear a digital watch, or don't use one, time flies by, and you don't realize. Instead, with a watch like this you can hear the slight ticking or see how the hands move. So you realize that time passes and that this moment is never gonna repeat itself. So, we have to take every second to the fullest, you understand?"  
Peridot nodded. Wow, if only she knew that the time was about to end for her.  
"Besides" Lapis added, "I bought it myself when I was 9, it's kinda special"  
"Really? That means it has... How many years?"  
"Twelve"  
"Are you 21?!"  
"Yes, and you?"  
"Me too... I thought you were older"  
Lapis smiled, and lay on the edge, looking at the sky. If she rolled a little to one side, she would fall. That girl was brave.  
"I apologize again for kissed you, Peridot" Lapis said "I'm so sorry"  
Peridot couldn't believe it. Lapis apologized for everything. She didn't imagine that the girl who had killed so many of Yellow's employees was... like that. Once again, she hesitated for a moment if Lapis was the person she was looking for. She gave Peri the impression that she couldn't hurt a fly.  
"It's okay. It was really nice" Peridot replied, with a smile. Lapis also smiled.  
Despite the incredible view, the most beautiful part of the night was seeing how Lapis' blue eyes shone with the moonlight.

* * *

"The tallest building in the city?" Yellow Diamond asked  
"Yes" Peridot confirmed, looking down  
Like every day, she complied with giving more information. But now it felt kinda weird. It was hard for her to reveal so much information, she felt... bad. Something had changed from the moment Lapis kissed her. She felt it would be hard to pull the trigger when the time came.  
"Alright. She has access to the building, she practices parkour. Blue watch, scar in the eyebrow. Snoring laugh, pierced ears" Yellow Diamond said "You're doing a great job, Peridot"  
"Thank you, my diamond"  
"Any other interesting thing?"  
Peridot blushed. She felt Pearl watching her, raising an eyebrow. The blonde cleared her throat and said "She... She kissed me"  
"What?!" Pearl exclaimed  
Yellow Diamond didn't make any expression. She leaned back in the chair and looked at Peridot.  
"I... I wanna know if I can kill her soon" Peridot said, nervous "Before this goes any further. I already gained her trust, I could..."  
"She kissed you" Yellow repeated  
"Yes, my Diamond"  
"That means... she likes you"  
"Well... Maybe. Actually. I don't know, she could have done it without reason, right?"  
Yellow Diamond nodded, looking at Peridot. Please, she didn't want to continue knowing more about Lapis, because she was beginning to like her... No! She couldn't let that happen! That girl was bad...!  
"You're brilliant, Peridot" the woman said suddenly  
"Really?" Pearl exclaimed  
"Really?" Peridot repeated  
"Don't you see it? If you're so involved with that girl, of course it's not time to kill her! Imagine all the valuable information you could get from her!"  
Peridot felt a lump in her throat  
"But how did it happen?!" Pearl exclaimed "Does she really likes you? Is she blind?"  
"She said something about love at first sight and..."  
Yellow Diamond interrupted with a laugh "Love!" she exclaimed "What a terrible mistake! That girl is gonna betray my sister for a simple case of 'love at first sight'! What an idiot!"  
Peridot also faked a giggle, but... No, she could only think of the sincere look in Lapis' eyes. Her eyes... Did they look always like this? How many people had she apologized for doing something? Did she really think that Peridot was special?  
"Keep hanging out with her, Peridot" Yellow Diamond ordered, pleased "And tell me everything. I know it must be horrible to be with her, but soon it will be time to put a bullet in her fucking head, what do you think?"  
The blonde could only think of the image of Lapis looking at the horizon, with her blue hair blowing in the wind...  
"Oh yes" she replied nervously "I can't wait"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuuuuuuuuuuys I'm so sorry for the super delay :'v But well, the important thing is that I'm back with this new chapter :3 I hope you liked it. The next update won't take that long, I promise :v  
> Thank you so much!


	5. Devil In Her Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peri learns some secrets, and receives new orders

And so several days went by, and Peridot continued to see Lapis every day. Actually, hanging out with her was very nice. Lapis had a very interesting way to look at life. She felt that she should live it to the fullest. Apparently, she didn’t care about the money she earned. She kept everything in the bank, and said it was "for the future," but she didn't really have a plan. She said that she simply cared about living the moment, and the next day it would be something different.  
Peridot couldn't help but admire her a little. She looked so carefree and happy... And at the same time, she hated her. She hated that she made her wonder so many things. Peridot was looking forward to the day when Yellow would give her the order to kill Lapis and put an end to all this at last. She wouldn't have to pretend what she felt or what she didn't feel for the girl with the blue mane.  
At least, Lapis hadn't kissed her again. Thank heaven, or that would confuse her even more.  
But well, as the days passed, and she still didn't receive the order, she should continue spending time with the girl. That day, Lapis had taken her to another of the "houses" she had. This time, it was an abandoned building on a quiet street in the city. It was full of cobwebs, and some windows were covered in newspaper. However, there were more people there than in the building to which she had taken her last time.  
Peridot and Lapis were playing poker. The blue-haired girl had boasted that she was very good at it, but Peridot had won every game, and she was really enjoying herself by teasing Lapis.  
"You know what? This is no fun anymore" Lapis said, when Peridot presented a royal flush  
"Well, we can stop if you want" Peridot chuckled "But pay me now"  
Lapis took ten dollars from her pocket and gave them to her. Peri laughed and put them in the pocket of her flannel.  
"So this is what the dealers do" Peridot commented, looking around "They play board games, drink coke and watch cartoons"  
"Sometimes we also eat nachos" Lapis joked  
Peridot saw many people come and go. No one seemed to notice her, or perhaps Lapis was so important that no one dared to question her actions. But one way or another, since they were there, it seemed like the perfect time to get information from the cartel, since her questions were going to seem to be out of mere curiosity.  
"And tell me... How do they decide when they're going to hire someone?" she asked, trying to make her tone carefree.  
"Well, normally that person comes to one of the dealers and asks for a job" Lapis explained, shuffling the cards "They starts as a kind of assistant, selling in bars or something, but they're another dealer's assistant. Then they become a dealer, and maybe later they had an assistant"  
"And how do you know they're not gonna report you? Or that they're not ... a spy or something?"  
"The new ones spend a lot of time as assistants. Enough time for the dealer in charge to realize who they are and. Many are just high school kids who wanna earn a few bucks, and then quit before they can level up. So, if someone makes a complaint, they only catch the responsible dealer, who of course won't say that they belong to this cartel. They spend a short time in jail, and then Blue Diamond rewards them for not having revealed anything"  
"Is it common for it to happen?"  
"Not really. It has happened two or three times"  
"And I imagine that Blue Diamond is not the one who welcomes the new ones"  
"You have to spend a lot of time on this to meet Blue Diamond in person"  
"But you know her very well, right?"  
"Yes. My case is different"  
"Why?"  
Lapis shrugged. Peri knew she had to ask another question, couldn't let the girl with the blue mane change the subject  
"Why is Blue so discreet?" she asked  
"Well... have you heard of Yellow Diamond? She's a bitch without a heart. She's Blue's sister, and she sure would love to kill her"  
Peridot said nothing. She hoped not to give any indication of her nervousness.  
"If they're sisters, why do they hate each other? Why would Yellow wanna kill her?"  
"It's what she does" a soft voice behind her said  
They both turned, and Peridot saw a tall woman with long hair and bright blue eyes with a sad look enter the room. Peridot could only think that she was very, very beautiful.  
"Hey mom!" Lapis exclaimed "I didn't know you would be here today"  
"Wait, is she your mother?!" Peridot asked, frankly surprised  
"In a way, you could say that" the woman, who of course should be Blue Diamond, said, approaching and stroked Lapis' hair "You must be Peridot. Lapis has told me a lot about you"  
"Y-yes. Nice to meet you ma'am"  
"Yes, you can consider yourself lucky, Peri" Lapis said "Many out there have been working on this for months and have never seen mom"  
"I... I think I shouldn't be here, right?" Peridot muttered, looking alternately at Lapis and Blue Diamond  
"If you're trustworthy enough to be Lapis' girlfriend, there's no problem" Blue Diamond said, sitting down in a chair. Fuck, that woman was so beautiful... She seemed to be in that old place by mistake  
"I told you she's not my girlfriend" Lapis murmured, blushing. But then she smiled and added "Yet"  
Peridot felt her heart speed up. Shit, she felt like she was about to faint. When Yellow Diamond knew that Peridot had been in front of the very Blue Diamond...!  
"So..." Peri continued "Yellow is... bad?"  
Lapis grimaced and looked at the woman. Blue Diamond frowned and crossed her leg before answering "My sister's ambition knows no limits, she's capable of doing anything for money"  
"I don't really know much about her... I guess you have a bigger... organization, don't you?"  
"Yes, I think so" Lapis replied  
"Then... You have much more money"  
Blue Diamond smiled and said "I don't keep the money"  
"What?"  
"Yes. Well, the guys who work for me do, it's fair. Lapis has money because I insist she keep it, but I don't. Probably Lapis has more money than me"  
"Then what do you do with it?"  
"We help people" Lapis responded "Mom has built hospitals, schools, houses. Everything that is earned here is for charity"  
"Really? Wow, illegal money for charity"  
Blue Diamond chuckled and said "Nobody needs that much money, after all. In the end we'll die and the money will stay here. It's good to do something for others. It gives me satisfaction. And it gives me the satisfaction of not letting my sister get what she wants"  
"Basically, this business is to destroy your sister's"  
"Yes, basically"  
"Why?"  
Blue Diamond didn't respond immediately, so Lapis started talking "Originally there were four diamonds. White, Blue, Yellow and Pink. White started all this, but she went to a real big city. Now she must be a millionaire"  
"As far as I know, she's a millionaire" Blue Diamond said She left us three here with the business already started. We were supposed to distribute everything in equal parts, but... "  
"But Yellow is a selfish shitty bitch" Lapis interrupted  
"Yes. As I said, her ambition knows no limits, but I didn't think she would do something so bad for money..."  
"What did she do?" Peridot asked, genuinely intrigued  
Lapis was going to answer, but she closed her mouth and looked at Blue, who suddenly looked much more dangerous.  
"She murdered our younger sister" the woman said  
"What?" Peri jumped "Why? That's horrible!"  
"Divide the profits between two was better than divide them between three. She killed Pink and believed that I wouldn't notice. But she couldn't fool me. So, I decided to break ties with her, and my only goal in continuing this is to take all the money that I can. Like I said, I don't care about money, that's why my guys earn so well, and I use mine to help those who have less. But my sister does care, so I love seeing her suffer for not having as much as she'd like. It's my way of avenging Pink"  
"I... I wouldn't have imagined any of this" Peridot admitted, feeling very strange "She... she must be horrible"  
"Sure, she is. I haven't seen her in years, she would love to be able to get rid of me too. I would like to get rid of her. If she disappeared, I would stop doing this. At the end of the day, nobody likes doing something illegal, don't you think?"  
"But you could send someone to kill Yellow! Why don't you do it?"  
"After all, she's my sister. And I'm not like her. So, I'll wait for her to fall victim to her own mistakes"  
Peridot said nothing. Oh man, that changed things so much. Yellow Diamond was a fearsome woman, but Peridot never imagined that she was capable of something so horrible for money. She felt so weird... And Blue Diamond... She seemed to have nothing to do with this business. In fact, Peridot could imagine her driving a minivan, taking Lapis to school or something. She even felt guilty that she was conspiring against her...  
"From what I've just told you, it's clear that my sister is anxious to kill me" Blue said "So I ask you to keep this little meeting between us in secret. Please"  
"Sure, of course" Peridot said quickly.  
"And say yes to my little Lapis. She's a very good girl"  
Lapis said nothing but blushed completely.

* * *

"How is it that you are allowed to enter such strange places?" Peridot asked, watching the blue haired girl take off her shirt  
"I do a lot of favors" Lapis replied, bending down to take off her pants  
They were in a high school pool. When Lapis had said they were going to go swimming, Peridot didn't imagine that.  
"Are you gonna come with me or what?" Lapis asked  
Peridot was going to respond, but she couldn't. She was speechless when she saw Lapis. The girl was wearing shorts and a sport bra, and she was tying her hair in a ponytail. She was standing with her back to her, and Peridot was mesmerized by her strong legs, her slim figure, and her back... Peridot paid more attention. Lapis' back was full of scars, and she had a fairly large one right between her shoulders. It had a drop shape. Peridot realized that Lapis was a real criminal, maybe she had been in a thousand fights. It was obvious that she must be full of scars.  
"I don't have a swimsuit" Peridot muttered  
"Just take off your shoes and come with me" Lapis suggested, jumping into the pool  
Peridot knew she couldn't get away from this, so she took off her shoes, socks and pants, keeping her t-shirt and boxers. Lapis saw her and laughed, saying "Nice shorts"  
Peridot was wearing boxers with small green aliens. She blushed a little and sat on the edge of the pool, soaking her feet in the water.  
"You know how to swim, right?" Lapis asked, who swam as easily as she jumped over buildings  
"Yes, of course" Peridot said "But the water is cold"  
"Oh, c'mon!" the girl exclaimed  
Peridot growled and got into the water. She felt that she was going to freeze up, but she adapted little by little to the temperature. Lapis swam around her, smiling.  
"What favor did you do to be allowed in here?" Peridot asked, staying afloat  
"I don't let anyone sell drugs at this school. And if a student wants to be a dealer, I accuse them"  
"Wow, so you're a snitch"  
"Yeah, but I can come and swim whenever I want"  
"Do you like to swim?"  
"Much more than I like to do parkour"  
Lapis dipped her head into the water. By the time she came out, her hair was down again. It was obvious, it was too short to keep a ponytail in the water. Lapis pulled her bangs aside, covering her left eye, as usual.  
"Can I ask you a question?" Peridot said  
"You know, I think you no longer need to ask me if you can ask me a question. Just do it"  
"Okay... Why do you always cover your left eye?"  
"To hide my scar"  
"And why are you hiding your scar?"  
"It's an old habit. When I was in school, the other kids made fun of my scar. I preferred to hide it so I wouldn't hear their hurtful comments"  
"School? Wait... How did you get that scar?"  
"When I was a little girl I was playing in the park. I climbed a tree, I fell and I hit my head with a rock"  
"Did you fall from a tree?"  
"Yes"  
"Oh, wow…"  
"What?"  
"Nothing, it's just that... I thought you got it in a fight or something"  
Lapis chuckled and said "No, I fell from a tree. Don't worry, almost everyone thinks the same thing. Most think that someone did it with a knife or something like that. If it makes you feel better, some of the scars on my back are from some fight. Although the truth is I got most of them when I was learning to do parkour. I fell many times, but I always got up to try again... And fell again"  
Peridot nodded. So the scars were from falls... She was beginning to think that this girl wasn't dangerous at all. The fearsome criminal turned out to be a cinnamon roll. Peridot swam towards Lapis, until he was face to face with her. Peri pull Lapis' blue hair away from her face. She watched the scar that split the girl's eyebrow. She was right, it was quite thick and irregular to have been caused by a knife. It made sense that it had been the product of a blow.  
"You're not in school anymore" Peridot said "You have very pretty eyes, you shouldn't hide them because of a scar. Also... the truth is that your scar looks great too"  
Lapis blushed. Got damn! Peri had made Lapis blush!  
"Let's keep this a secret" Lapis said, looking down to hide her blush "I like that everyone thinks I'm a badass, not a clumsy girl who fell off a tree"  
"You're a badass anyway" Peridot smiled "Hey... What's it like to kill someone?"  
Lapis looked at her. Peridot immediately knew that she shouldn't have asked that. It was just... she needed to know. It was horrible to ask that precisely to Lapis, but she had to do it.  
"I don't know" Lapis replied at last, shrugging her shoulders.  
"What?"  
"I don't know. I've never killed anyone"  
Peridot looked at her, to look for any sign that the girl was lying. But no, she knew that she was totally sincere.  
"But... You told me that..."  
"I know, but I told you. I wanted to scare you. I've never killed anyone, Peri. I've sold drugs, I've stolen, but I've never killed. I think that... that's horrible, don't you think? I can't believe there are people who enjoy it. I've done a lot of bad things, but I never killed anyone. And I hope to keep it that way"  
Peridot felt sick. Oh shit…  
"But... if you had to do it, would you?" she insisted, in an attempt to feel better about herself  
"I don't know... Maybe only under extreme circumstances"  
"Like what?"  
"Like... If someone wanna hurt you"  
Peridot was speechless. Lapis put a hand on her cheek and moved closer. Peridot felt that her heart was going to come out of her chest.  
"Can I...?" Lapis began to say  
Peridot didn't respond. Instead, it was she who kissed Lapis. She felt that her body was being traversed by an electric current. It was as if all that time she had wanted to do it. And it was probably like that. She knew she had been suppressing the desire. She knew she was madly attracted to Lapis. She knew very well that she wanted that kiss more than the girl with the blue mane.  
Peridot parted a little, just to breathe, and threw her arms around Lapis' neck before kissing her again. This time, she tried to make the kiss longer, she didn't care if she ran out of air, all she wanted was to feel Lapis' lips between hers.  
Lapis was the one who stopped the kiss this time. She stroked Peri's face, and chuckled before saying "Wow... That... That was very good"  
Peri also giggled. She felt different now... all those days of wondering what was good and what wasn't... And now it didn't matter. She had let herself be carried away by the desire to kiss Lapis, that simple, and she didn't regret it.  
"I would like everything to be different" Lapis commented, erasing her smile "I would like to be able to be with you and not feel that we should hide because someone could hurt you because of me. Peri... I think I... I like you"  
"I like you too, Lapis. And... don't worry"  
Lapis hugged her very tightly, and Peri hugged her back. She could feel some of the girl's scars when she touched her back. She felt so... special. As she had never felt... what was that feeling?  
"Do you wanna hear something? I don't plan to do this all my life" Lapis murmured "One day I'm gonna quit this... job. I plan to move from the city, have a normal job... Live quietly"  
"Would you really give up all the power you have?"  
"Of course! I would like to be a normal person... And don't be afraid of being killed when I go out to the street... and hey... if you want to be with me then..."  
"I want to be with you right now"  
"Thank you. For not running away. For not letting all this thing scare you. Thanks for staying with me despite everything..."  
Peridot hugged her even harder. Suddenly, she didn't know if her face was wet from the pool water, or from her tears. She was very, very in love with that girl.  
Unfortunately, sooner or later she had to pull the trigger.

* * *

"Did you see her?! Did you see my sister?!" Yellow Diamond exclaimed, smiling as if she had won the lottery  
"Yes" Peridot confirmed, with an emptiness in her stomach "Tall, long hair, blue eyes. Her voice is very soft, as if she whispered all the time..."  
"Damn, it's her! You have to tell me exactly where the girl took you! Where did you see her?!"  
"I... I don't know" Peridot lied "Lapis insisted it was a secret place... She covered my eyes, I couldn't see when I arrived, nor when I left"  
"Sure, it's perfectly logical. But tell me, how was that place?"  
"It was a very old place, like an abandoned house. I was in a windowless room, so I don't know where..."  
"An old place, you say?"  
"Yes, a house with wooden walls"  
"Well, that pretty much reduces our options. I'll order them to look for each house like that. You just added another couple of thousand dollars to your salary. Good job!"  
"Thank you, my diamond"  
"Is there something else?"  
"I don't think... Oh, yes. I know how they hire new dealers. They make them go through a "trial" period of a year or more to prove they are trustworthy, and until later they are allowed to enter fully into the cartel"  
"Seriously? Shit! No wonder none of my spies could see anything! I should've been more patient... You're really doing a great job with all this information, Peridot. You deserve another reward"  
"Oh, no, it's enough with the money and..."  
"No, listen. You'll love this This information is more than enough. I'm not going to punish you anymore. You can kill the girl now"  
"W-what?"  
"Kill the girl. And send me a picture when she's dead, I'll put it on my wall"  
Peridot chuckled at the joke, but she felt her heart speed up. Kill Lapis... She should kill Lapis.  
"My diamond!" Jasper exclaimed, rushing into the office  
"What did I tell you to enter without knocking?" the blonde woman scolded her  
"I'm sorry. Lewis just called. He saw our girl"  
Peridot felt her blood grow cold. Yellow Diamond stood up slowly.  
"What did you just say?"  
"The girl. Meets all the features. He said he had seen her a couple of times, but this time she no longer wore her hair over her eye. He says he finally confirmed that she has the scar that Peridot talked about"  
Peri felt sick again. Oh shit, that was her fault! She had told Lapis not to hide her eyes! Dammit!  
"Tell Lewis to follow her. I want to know where her base is" the woman ordered, very happy  
"Yes, my Diamond" Jasper said, leaving in a hurry  
"They're not gonna kill her, right?" Peridot asked immediately.  
"Oh, no, don't worry. That honor is all yours"  
Shit. She had to open her mouth. Shit, she was so stupid! She would have let someone else kill Lapis!  
"Do it soon, dear" Yellow said "Unless you have fallen in love with her"  
"Of course not, my diamond" Peridot laughed "Maybe I'll do it tonight"  
"Very good. Don't forget my photograph!"  
Peridot nodded and left Yellow Diamond's office. She took a deep breath, but suddenly felt very dizzy.  
Enough of all this shit. She had to do it as soon as possible. She had to kill Lapis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry for the delay. I was in finals week and all that, but finally I'm back!  
> As you may have noticed, soon Peridot will have to decide... Keep reading to know what will happen! Thanks for reading and for your comments :3


	6. I Hate Myself For Loving You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment of truth has come. Will Peri take the right decision?

The next day, Peri had a date with Lapis again. But no, she couldn't do it. She didn't even take the gun with her. She couldn't. Not that day. She would do it the next day. She _needed_ to spend another day... just one more day with Lapis, and then she would. She promised herself. One more date, and it ended with that.  
Dates with Lapis were always something out of the ordinary, and that hadn't been the exception. First, she had taken her to eat at a 50's themed pizzeria. Lapis had spent her time singing all the songs that the jukebox played. She had been very upbeat, singing songs by Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry, but when _Great Balls of Fire_ began, Lapis didn't resist it and had invited her, or rather forced her to dance with her between the tables. It was nice anyway, although very shameful when the song ended, and everyone applauded.  
After that, they walked for a while until they reached the scenic overlook of the city. There was no one else on that hill. Lapis had sat on a huge rock, looking at the landscape, and Peri sat next to her. Neither of them said anything in a while, they just looked at the city. The sky had turned an intense orange.  
Peridot turned to look at Lapis. She was smiling. Oh, she looked as radiant as ever, and that only made the blonde feel worse. She felt that all this was torture. Why did she get into this? Why didn't she kill her from the first day?!  
Lapis looked at her suddenly. Her smile faded little by little, she cleared her throat and said "Are you okay? You've been very serious all day... Well, more than usual. Is something wrong?"  
 _'Of course not, it's just that I have to kill you, what do you think?'_ Peridot thought. However, what came out of her mouth was "I'm kinda tired, that's all"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes. Why?"  
"Well I... don't know, what happened yesterday... I thought things would be different. Don't get me wrong, today I had a lot of fun with you as always, but... Well, after what you said yesterday, I thought... I don't know... I thought you would at least give me a kiss when I greeted you or..."  
Peridot felt a void in her stomach. Of course. The previous night they had confirmed their feelings for each other, but that had been overshadowed by her conversation with Yellow that morning. She couldn't think of anything else.  
"I'm sorry, Lapis" Peri said, sighing "It's just that everything was very fast and... well, I don't even know what to say"  
"It's okay, I understand. It's weird for me too"  
Lapis tried to smile, but Peridot knew very well that things weren't so easy. They never were, really. She hated herself for being so involved with her... Everything that had happened between them only made killing her even more horrible.  
She was so deep in thought that when Lapis approached her, Peri immediately pulled back. Then she realized that Lapis had tried to kiss her.  
"Sorry" Lapis said immediately, blushing.  
"No, no, I'm sorry" Peridot stammered. "It's just... what if someone sees us?"  
It was the first thing that came to mind, but she immediately realized that it had been a mistake, because Lapis hugged her knees and looked away.  
"Lapis, I didn't want to..." Peridot began to say  
"No, you're right" Lapis agreed. "It's not fair to you. Someone could hurt you for being with me"  
Peridot felt like a fool. She tried to see things from Lapis' point of view. All these days, she had told Lapis that no matter who she was, Peri was going to stay by her side. And now it seemed that it really mattered.  
"Hey, don't think that..." Peridot said  
"You know, you don't have to stay with me right now" Lapis interrupted "I know you don't have bad intentions or anything, but I worry about your safety. And sorry for... asking so many apologies. It's just that I'm new in this "  
"What do you mean?"  
"I've never... dated anyone"  
"What?"  
"The kiss I gave you on the roof of that building... was my first kiss"  
Peridot didn't know what to say. Wow, that was a surprise. Even she had kissed a couple of people before Lapis.  
"I'm not sure how to treat... whatever you are to me" Lapis added "So it's logical if I'm ruining everything with so many apologies"  
"You haven't dated anyone before..." Peridot murmured  
"No... I had some fear. Anyone close to me is in danger. I feel selfish for having let you get close to me knowing the bad things that can happen"  
The blonde girl was still very surprised. She was facing the prettiest girl she had ever seen, and she was telling her had never kissed anyone? What kind of joke was that?!  
"Hey Peri... I'd rather you walked away. I know what you're gonna say, but it's for your own good" Lapis said "Listen, I told you I don't plan to do this forever... I... I do not know, I'd look for you when that happens. Then you wouldn't have to worry about..."  
Not knowing what else to do, Peridot interrupted her with a kiss. She felt that guilt was going to consume her completely. For a moment, she thought about confessing everything, but... No, she couldn't do it. She didn't want to die.  
Lapis looked at her intently. Her hair flutter with the wind, and Peri noticed the brown roots growing. That only helped to have a weird thought: She felt that the girl with the blue mane and Lapis were different people. The girl with the blue mane was a criminal, a fearsome thief who was almost invisible and who had the city eating from her hand. Lapis, on the other hand, was a sweet girl who just wanted to have a normal life. It was so unfair... Lapis was the purest person she had ever met, she deserved to be happy...  
"Peri..."  
"Shut up"  
Peridot hugged her. She was trying hard not to start crying right there. She didn't want to give explanations or say silly lies.  
"I know what I'm going to say is horrible, but... I wish Yellow Diamond were dead" Lapis said.  
Peridot felt her heart speed up  
"If she were dead, Blue would put the cartel aside too. I wouldn't have to be the girl with the blue mane anymore. It could even be that Blue adopted me" she giggled "Can you imagine that? We would go far from this city. And if you want to come, I could be with you"  
"W-well... Blue said that Yellow would be a victim of her own mistakes"  
"I hope it's soon"  
Peri swallowed. Once again, she had to remind herself that she should stop thinking good things about Lapis. After all, the girl with the blue mane hadn't a day left to live.

* * *

Lapis, as friendly as ever, had proposed that they go to their "home", they could play video games or watch a movie, so they could relax a bit after the walk. Peri accepted. Anything was good, she just wanted to spend the night with Lapis.  
Once again, they went to the building she took her the first time they went out together. And again, the other girls, Amethyst and Pearl, were there. This time they spend a little longer with Peri, and she found that they were really kind. That was something awful, was it that the entire enemy cartel was made up of nice people?!  
"Hey Peri, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Empire City with me?" Lapis said suddenly, almost as soon as Amethyst left them alone to go for a soda can  
"Empire City?" Peridot repeated  
"Yes. It's big, there are many places to go, and sure nobody wants to kill me. Well, I was thinking about what we talked about this afternoon and... I wanna have a real date. I've done everything wrong, I wanna start over. What do you think?"  
"Sure, I'd love to go" Peri said, knowing she was lying "When?"  
"Maybe next week? We could even spend a few days there, if you want"  
Peridot felt nauseous, as it had happened all day. Oh Lapis, if you knew what was about to happen the next day... she was beginning to wonder if she would have the courage to do it face to face. Probably not. Surely end up shooting her in the back, to avoid having to see her face...  
"So... would you like it?"  
Before Peri could answer, Pearl appeared and turned off the TV.  
"Hey! I was watching that!" Lapis exclaimed  
"Shut up" Pearl ordered in a whisper, crouching "There's someone outside"  
"What?"  
"I thought I heard an engine, and then steps. Amethyst is making sure"  
"But who…?"  
Lapis didn't finish the question when they heard several shots and saw how some crystals were shattered.  
"But what the fuck...?!" Peri exclaimed  
"Run, go to my room!" Lapis ordered, standing up and going after Pearl, who was running towards one of the windows  
"But"  
"Go!"  
Peridot panicked and stood still, listening more shots and to Amethyst shouting _"Take this, assholes!"_  
What the fuck was going on? Had they followed Lapis to that place in the morning? Yeah, sure it was... Oh, fuck, it was all her fault!  
 _'Why are you worried?'_ a voice in his mind asked _'You should be happy! Let them all be killed, and you won't have to do the dirty work'_  
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Lapis shouted to be heard over the shots "Get out of here!"  
There were more shots that broke the remaining windows. Peridot covered her head with her hands instinctively, while small clouds of dust filled the place. She heard footsteps running towards her, a small scream, and suddenly she felt that she was being thrown to the floor. She opened her eyes and saw Lapis protecting her with her body.  
"You're fine, we're fine" Lapis said, hugging her against her chest. The blonde girl didn't know what to say. The shots continued for a couple of minutes that Peri seemed eternal, until...  
"They're leaving!" Amethyst exclaimed "Yeah, motherfuckers! Go away!"  
"Yes, yes, a shooting! Garnet, listen to me! They go to the west, they're two black vans without license plates" Pearl said, apparently talking on the phone "No, I don't know! Let everyone know, call me if you catch them!"  
"Are you okay?" Lapis asked to Peridot, letting her go.  
"Yes, I think so" Peridot answered, sitting down  
"Why the fuck did you do that?!"  
"What?"  
"Stayed here! It was stupid, they could have killed you! I told you to leave and... "  
"Lapis!"  
"What?!"  
"You're bleeding!"  
Lapis looked at her without understanding, and then she saw herself. Peridot felt really dizzy. The blood stretched across the shoulder of Lapis's gray flannel.  
"Oh my god!" Pearl exclaimed, approaching, running towards Lapis  
"It's just a bullet, calm down" Lapis said, who was starting to get very pale  
"They're three fucking bullets, dude!" Amethyst exclaimed  
Peridot stood up and surrounded Lapis. Damn it, ahe had a bullet in her left shoulder, the one Peridot had seen, and two in her right arm, above the elbow. Oh shit, there was blood, a lot of blood.  
"Come here" Pearl said, standing her up "Amethyst, bring the first aid kit"  
Pearl took Lapis to the sofa and took off her flannel, leaving her in her tank top. Peridot felt dizzy when she saw the three small bleeding holes.  
"How you feel?" Pearl asked  
"I don't feel anything" Lapis replied, but each time she was getting paler  
"Amethyst!"  
"I'm here, I'm here!" Amethyst exclaimed, carrying the first aid kit  
The next thing that happened was that Pearl pulled out some small tweezers to take out the bullets. Peridot felt she was going to faint, but even so, she sat down next to Lapis and took her trembling hand. She didn't look so bad, but come on, three bullets aren't anything. Lapis was keeping quiet, although it must hurt now that she wasn't in shock anymore.  
"You... you took those bullets for me" Peridot said, wincing as the last bloody little bullet came out of Lapis' arm.  
The girl looked at her and shrugged, but she winced and preferred to keep looking at her lap. Pearl continued to heal Lapis' wounds, pressing firmly on them. Lapis laid down on the couch. She still didn't complain, but she was so pale she looked like she was about to faint.  
"She'll be fine, right?" Peridot asked Pearl  
"Yes, she'll be fine. You were lucky, Lapis. Three bullets and none hurt you badly"  
"It must be my lucky day" Lapis joked  
Pearl's phone rang, but it was Amethyst who answered "Hello...? Really? Yeah right. No... Well, no... They hurt Lapis, but she's okay, tell Blue not to worry. Alright. We're going over there"  
"What happened?" Pearl asked, pressing harder. Lapis winced in pain.  
"They catched them" Amethyst said "Bismuth set a trap. With nails. She punctured their tires. Garnet says that Blue is furious. She'll come here as soon as we identify them... Fuck, she'll surely kill them for having hurt you, Lapis"  
"Lapis, stay here with Peridot" Pearl said, placing Lapis' hand on the gauze of her shoulder "Press hard. Your arm will be fine"  
"Sure, I'll be okay" Lapis muttered.  
"Don't worry" Pearl told Peridot, smiling "She's fine"  
After this, she and Amethyst ran out. Lapis sighed and closed her eyes.  
"You saved me" Peridot murmured  
"No, I just threw myself on top of you" Lapis said, seeing her with a slight smile "That's nothing heroic"  
"They shot you because of me..."  
"Don't worry, everything's okay, right?"  
Saying that, she closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. Maybe it didn't hurt as much as it seemed, or maybe she just wanted to look strong. In any case, she looked quite calm...  
Peridot saw Pearl's gun on the table. She couldn't believe it! Yellow Diamond had planned a shootout and Lapis wasn't dead! Three bullets, three damn bullets and nothing happened. For a moment, Peridot had been glad to see that Lapis was fine, but then she come to reality... Shit! That was ridiculous! She had to stop it now!  
The weapon on the table seemed to call her. And she had to give in to the call, sooner or later. She stood up and took it. She looked back. Lapis was there, eyes closed, pale and weak. It was the moment. She knew that if she waited a minute longer, if she kiss her again... She wasn't going to be able to do it. She was reaching the point of no return. She loaded the gun. It was that little click that made Lapis open her eyes.  
"Don't touch that, you're gonna hurt yourself" Lapis said, scratching her head  
Peridot said nothing. Her heart was beating so fast that she felt it was going to burst from her chest. She aimed the gun right at Lapis' head. She looked at her without understanding.  
"What are you doing?" she asked, sitting up slowly  
The blonde didn't put the gun down. That was all. Her hand was shaking, but all she had to do was pull the trigger and that was it.  
"Peri?" Lapis insisted, her voice broken.  
Peridot fired. The bullet lodged in the sofa, a couple of inches from Lapis' head. She couldn't, she had aimed to the sofa at the last moment. Lapis looked at her, horrified. She hadn't let out a sound, she was simply stunned.  
"I can't!" Peridot exclaimed, throwing the gun as far as she could "I can't do it!"  
She broke down in tears. She dropped on the couch. Lapis didn't move an inch.  
"What the fuck were you trying to do?" the blue haired girl asked  
Peri couldn't talk. She was screaming in despair. She felt so, so bad... Did she really try to do it? She tried to kill Lapis after what she had done for her? What the fuck was wrong with her?  
"What does this mean?!" Lapis shouted  
"Yellow diamond!" Peridot exclaimed, sobbing "Yellow hired me to kill you, that's why I went looking for you, that's why I waited in the alley every night! I wanted to kill you, okay?"  
"Wait..."  
"Then we started dating and I stayed to find out more things about Blue and tell them to Yellow Diamond. When I had enough information, she would give permission to kill you, but I can't!"  
Lapis was horrified. She stood up but staggered and fell to the floor. Peridot got up to try to help her, but Lapis stood up and looked at her.  
"Did you tell them we were here? Those were Yellow Diamond hit men?!"  
"Forgive me, Lapis!" Peri exclaimed "Now I know that Yellow is very bad! And you... you're the best person I've ever met, you're not as everyone thinks! Forgive me for doing this!"  
"You lied to me..." Lapis said  
"Lapis, sit down... You're not okay"  
"You lied to me!" she repeated "You... You used me, you... you went out with me for money!"  
"No no! Well, at first yes, but..."  
"You're... You're a fucking asshole! I believed everything you told me! I was honest with you! I told you everything...! And you just wanted to use me to earn money?! You betrayed me, betrayed Blue... For money! You're just like Yellow Diamond!"  
"No... It's not true, I'm not..."  
"You pretended you were in love with me! Oh shit! Now I understand everything... You were just playing with me and with my feelings!"  
"No! Lapis, listen to me! At first yes, but then you... you made me change my way of seeing things. I really like you!"  
"Don't tell me that! You played with me, bitch! I should kill you right now!"  
"No... No, you wouldn't do it"  
"I should do it! You're the worst person I've met! I can't believe it!"  
"Lapis, listen to me...!"  
Lapis took her by her t-shirt. Who knows where she got her strength, but she lifted her several inches off the floor. She was furious. For the first time, Peridot was afraid of her. Very afraid.  
The blue haired girl threw Peri on the floor. Then she pounced on her and tried to strangle her. It didn't last long. She let her go almost immediately.  
Peri coughed and sat up, only to see that Lapis was sitting on the floor, covering her eyes with her hands. She had lost the gauzes and was bleeding again.  
"Lapis..." Peri said, her voice breaking  
"Go away!" Lapis yelled, beside herself "I don't want to see you again in my life! What you did has no forgiveness! Go away! Get out before I kill you with my hands!"  
"Lapis, please..."  
"You don't get it, right? I hate you! Get out of my sight before I change my mind!"  
Peridot got up and ran to the exit. She ran away from the house, but even so, she could hear the heartrending cry of Lapis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm sorry for the delay :P I hope you liked it... or that I have made you suffer even a little :v Thank you for reading!


	7. The Unforgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well... bad things happen

Lapis really tried so hard to stop crying. She knew that Blue would arrive at any moment, and she preferred to save herself from having to explain why she had been crying.  
She had never felt that way before. She felt a huge pressure in her chest that didn't let her breathe. She wanted to scream, run, be completely alone... But she knew she couldn't. She had a feeling like... like she could never be happy again.  
A part of her refused to accept what had happened, wanted to wake up suddenly and discover that she had fainted after being shot. But no, she had gone through many things, and she knew that life could be very cruel. But this... this was too much.  
It was just that... Peridot looked so kind... Of course she looked kind! That's why they had hired her to...  
To kill her.  
How did she not notice? Lapis boasted that no one could cheat her, and now she had just suffered the worst disappointment of her entire life. She was so disappointed and so angry that she really wondered how she could avoid killing Peri when she had the chance. Peridot wasn't the first person to try to kill her, of course, but she had been the first to play with her feelings. And until now she realized that Peridot had never shown the same interest as her. Peridot never like her, she just pretended to agree... And Lapis believed in her, like a silly girl who always believe in false promises.  
She didn't know if she was more angry with Peridot or with herself, for having opened up so much with her, or letting her be so close... She wasn't like that! She didn't trust people easily, but she had been so stupid to let that little bitch get close. Shit. Lapis knew very well that she shouldn't believe in something as stupid as love, and yet she dared... But well, at least it served as a lesson for her. It was the last time she was looking for something with someone.  
What should she do now? Deep down she had that desire to get revenge. But she knew that wouldn't make her feel better. Nothing was going to make her feel better. That little liar... Damn! Even her apology had sounded real! Peri had cried and everything! But Lapis learned from her mistakes. Now that she knew the truth, she wasn't going to fall back into her stupid game.  
Lapis had spent all her time alone staring at the bullet embedded in the sofa. That little bullet was about to pierce her head, and now it was just a reminder of the betrayal she had been the victim of.  
The door opened, pulling her out of her thoughts. Blue came in quickly, almost running.  
"Lapis!" the woman exclaimed, in a tone of concern  
Lapis sat on the couch, praying that her eyes weren't red. Blue sat next to her and hugged her carefully.  
"How are you? Does it hurt much?"  
What?! Oh, yeah... She had been so focused on the pain in her feelings that she had forgotten the physical pain. It was until now that Blue mentioned that she felt the pain again.  
"No, I'm fine" she answered  
"I don't know how Yellow did to find this place! But don't worry, the idiots who did this to you received their punishment"  
"That's good"  
The woman looked at Lapis fixedly and gave her a motherly smile, stroking her hair softly. Lapis felt a little calmer. Only Blue knows how to make her feel good. In fact, although obviously Blue wasn't the woman's real name, it was because of that nickname that Lapis had adopted her hair color.  
"Pearl said that Peri had also been here" Blue said "Where is she?"  
It was as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on her. Lapis was about to tell everything. Blue would be really furious, and someone would take care of getting rid of that little gremlin.  
"Lapis?"  
"She went home" Lapis replied finally  
"Why?"  
"I was afraid. That they returned. I didn't wanna put her in danger and... I asked her to leave"  
"But... you could wait for someone to escort her, you didn't know if there was someone outside waiting for..."  
"I... I don't think we'll see her around again"  
Blue looked at her without understanding. Lapis didn't understand either... Why was she doing this?  
"I told her to get away. And after what happened, she just understood that it wasn't safe to be with me" Lapis lied, not looking at Blue "She left. And I think it's the best, you know? I... I don't want to see her again. I don't want her to have to do with this"  
Lapis was hating herself. She didn't understand why she was protecting Peridot after what she had done but... Ah, well, she felt it was the right thing to do. It wasn't going to be her who planned a murder. She wasn't going to carry the burden of a death. She wasn't bad like Peridot or Yellow.  
"That's why you were crying?" Blue wanted to know  
Lapis looked at her without understanding. Blue kissed her on the forehead and added "You know I always realize if there's something that worry you. I know it must be hard, honey, but what you're doing is very noble. After all, there are always risks in this"  
"I know"  
"You'll be fine, I promise you"  
No. Blue was wrong. Lapis knew she wasn't going to be fine.

* * *

Peri had no idea how much it was going to hurt. Beyond the fear that Lapis inspired, or the fear she felt towards Yellow Diamond, what she felt was pain. Pain and that terrible sadness for having hurt Lapis so much.  
Everything was so complicated! But it wasn't confusing anymore. She had already realized. She was very, very in love with Lapis. In the short time it took to meet the girl with the blue mane, she had realized the mistaken idea she had about her. Lapis was the purest person in the world. She was kind, she had good intentions... She had saved Peri's life! She wasn't a criminal as she had imagined it. And she knew that she loved her since Lapis kissed her on the roof of the building. And she confirmed it during the kiss in the pool. The girl with the blue hair had really taught her a different perspective on life, one where living the moment was important. And Peridot had wasted her time with Lapis for something as simple and stupid as money.  
She had to fix it. Lapis sure hated her and could kill her, but she had to fix it. She had to tell her how sorry she was and show her that she was very important to her. Lapis wasn't going to forgive her, but she had to tell her anyways.  
She had spent the whole day feeling miserable, but there came a point where she couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly Peridot felt very brave, and very stupid. That's why she had decided that if she was going to die, she would do it with a clear conscience. That's why that night she took courage, left home convinced that it would be the last time, and went to see Yellow Diamond.  
Yes, she was completely crazy. That meeting was supposed to be to inform Yellow that the mission was complete... At least that was the idea. Yellow wasn't going to like to hear what Peri had to say. But she didn't stop, and walked determinedly through the building to the Yellow Diamond office. She didn't knock and just entered. The woman was completely alone.  
"What does this mean?" Yellow Diamond exclaimed, annoyed by the audacity "Ah, Peridot. For your sake, I hope you have good news, if not, I want you to know that the way you entered is unacceptable"  
"I quit" Peridot announced, nervous, but with a firm voice.  
Yellow Diamond raised an eyebrow. She seemed about to laugh when she said "Quit?"  
"I quit! I can't. I can't kill Lapis"  
"Wow... And tell me, why suddenly are you so benevolent?"  
"Lapis is very nice! She's a good person! I can't do this"  
"That girl is an annoyance to me. I don't accept this, so go and kill her"  
"Not! She doesn't deserve that you want to kill her! She's good!"  
"I don't care if she help the elderly to cross the street! She's a danger to my business, and you will take care of disappearing her forever, you understand?"  
"I won't do it!"  
"You're on thin fucking ice, girl. You just have to obey this simple order. Go and kill that girl or I'll kill you"  
"Well, you will have to kill me"  
The woman giggled and said "Silly girl... If you don't do it, someone else will. With the information you gave us, your friend's days are numbered. I'm giving you the opportunity to do it yourself and I'll pay you for it. Are you stupid?"  
"Blue Diamond was right, you're horrible, and you don't understand that there are things that are worth more than money"  
"Oh, and now my sister brainwashed you. Okay, if that's what you want..."  
"Do what you want, but I'm not gonna follow your orders, so go and fuck yourself"  
Yellow Diamond stared at her with a frown. Peridot panicked for the first time since she had entered, and without thinking twice, she ran out before Yellow shot her or something.

* * *

The next time Peri was in front of a door, she had to stop and knock. But she knocked in a special way, in code. She had heard it a few times, and she knew that, otherwise, the door wouldn't open. _'Please open the door'_ Peri thought _'Please...'_  
The door opened. As soon as Lapis saw her, she tried to close the door, but Peridot stopped it with her foot, exclaiming "Wait!"  
"I told you to get out!" Lapis replied, pushing hard, which hurt Peri's foot.  
"Please!" Peridot insisted, pushing the door with all her weight and entering. As soon as she turned around, she saw that Lapis was already pointing a gun at her. The girl with the blue mane didn't look happy at all. In fact, she didn't look very good. Her eyes were swollen ( _'As if she had cried all day'_ Peri thought), and there were bandages on her arm and a bloody gauze on her shoulder.  
"I won't hesitate to do it this time" Lapis said, loading the weapon  
"Well, do it!" Peri exclaimed "I prefer that you do it. C'mon! Yellow is gonna kill me anyway!"  
"What?"  
"Yellow's gonna kill me! Do it if you want, I don't care! I'm just here to tell you I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Lapis. Well, I did it! Now kill me!"  
Lapis lowered the gun, but still looked very angry. "Don't you get tired of making fun of me?" she asked, watching her intently. "That's enough, just tell me what do you want this time"  
"Lapis, I'm so sorry" Peridot said, breaking down in tears of despair "I'm a complete idiot! I lied to you and betrayed you, but I want you to know that I really like you! You made me change and see everything differently! Lapis, you changed my life! And you saved me! I'm so sorry!"  
"You tried to kill me!"  
"I know, but... But I couldn't do it because I'm in love with you"  
Lapis turned her back and said in a low voice "Enough. You know how I felt for you. It's cruel that you lie to me with that"  
"It's not a lie! Lapis... I'm really fell in love with you. You're the most beautiful and pure girl I've ever met, and I wish I hadn't done this to you, really. It hurt a lot what happened because I knew I couldn't see you anymore. I was very used to being with you. You're wonderful. And I like you very much. And if you could forgive me..."  
"I don't know why I should"  
"No, and I understand... But I really want you to try. Forgive me, you don't know how sorry I am. I understand that you no longer trust me, but I would do anything to earn your trust again, anything"  
"Go back in time and avoid betraying me. Now get out of here"  
"Lapis... Lapis please. I need you. I didn't want to accept it, but I need you. You're the best person I've ever met. I really like you"  
"It's not true! Love is sincere, and you're a fucking liar. I should've killed you yesterday"  
"But you didn't. I don't get it. I don't even understand how no one has sought me to take revenge, unless... "  
Peri realized then. Lapis seemed to understand what she meant, because her expression relaxed a little.  
"Unless... You... Didn't you tell them what happened?" Peri asked.  
Lapis moved away from the door and sat on the ramshackle couch. Peri went with her, still crying. Incredible! Lapis hadn't tell anyone! Even with all her hate, she was protecting her.  
"Lapis..."  
"What did you say about Yellow Diamond?" Lapis interrupted in a bad way  
"She's gonna kill me"  
"Why?"  
"I insulted her in her face after trying to quit"  
"You did what? Are you crazy?!"  
"No... Yes. I think so. I told her I wasn't gonna kill you, that she was horrible, and that she can fuck herself"  
"Seriously?"  
"Yes! I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't gonna do it. But now I'm sure she'll send someone to kill me. So, please, forgive me. I can't die without you forgive me"  
"Is that your plan? Make them kill you unless I forgive you? "  
"It's better than living with all this guilt"  
"You're an idiot"  
"I know"  
"Not for that! You're an idiot! They sure followed you here!"  
Peridot felt a cold sweat on her back... Shit! How could she be so stupid?!  
"Lapis! What are we gonna do?!"  
"We? What are YOU gonna to do?"  
What kind of plan had that been?! Now she had put Lapis in danger too. Brilliant, simply brilliant. But hey, with everything she had in mind, she wasn't thinking clearly.  
"Then I gotta go" Peri said, sighing "I'm really sorry Lapis, really. I don't know what to do to make you believe me, but..."  
"Yellow won't be able to kill you if we leave the country" Lapis murmured.  
"What?"  
"We have to leave here! We can go to Florence"  
"Florence?!"  
"Well, it's the first place I thought of! Let's go, right now"  
"What…?"  
"Do you want to be killed?!"  
"No, but... what the hell are you saying?"  
Lapis rolled her eyes. Peri didn't understand anything anymore.  
"You and me" Lapis explained "Right now. Florence. Let's go! Yellow should already be looking for you!"  
"Does that mean you forgive me?"  
"It means I don't want Yellow to fucking kill me. I don't want her to kill you either. Are you with me or not?"  
"Even if I tried to kill you?"  
"Do you want me to forgive you or not?"  
"Yes!"  
Peridot threw herself into Lapis' arms, hugging her tightly.  
"Thank you!" she exclaimed "Thank you Lapis! I'll never fail you again, I promise. Thank you!"  
Lapis said nothing but kissed her. She kissed her passionately, and Peri felt herself in heaven again.  
"I hate you so much. Now, let's get out of here" Lapis said  
"We're really gonna leave?" Peri asked  
"Yes. You're not safe here, we have to leave"  
"But what about your job?"  
"I have a lot of money in the bank. We could even start a business there, a cafeteria, a sports shop... something!"  
"Are you asking me to run away with you to make a new life in... Florence ?!"  
"Or in the first destination that comes to mind. We're gonna get you safe"  
"I didn't bring my passport"  
"You won't need it"  
"But…"  
"Do you want to do this with me? Peri, it's my chance to be a normal person! I can have a normal job, and I can be with you without worries! I don't know why I want to be with the person who tried to kill me, I just know that's the way it is. I don't know what's wrong with me, but right now I don't want to kill you, so let's get out of here now!"  
"And at least you speak Italian?"  
"Of course not, but we'll learn together"  
"Why are you doing this? Five minutes ago you hated me!"  
"I still hate you. And I don't know. I don't even know why I talked to you in the first place that night. I guess it's destiny or some shit like that. You just have to tell me if you want to be with me, but this time I want it to be true"  
"Yes, I want. I would follow you to the end of the world. To the roof of a building. Or to Florence"  
"Okay, let's do it. Forget Yellow, forget Blue. You and me, and we won't let anyone find us"  
"Lapis... is this serious? Is not it a trap to get revenge for what I did?"  
"Do you really think I'm capable of that? I've always been honest with you"  
"Sure... I'm sorry. Yes, I wanna be with you, Lapis. I love you"  
Lapis smiled a little and kissed her again before saying "I love you too"  
Peridot had never felt so happy in her life, and she just couldn't believe that everything worked out so well. She couldn't believe that Lapis would forgive her... Lapis was so good, Peridot felt she didn't deserve her.  
"We're losing valuable time" Lapis commented "Let's go"

* * *

Lapis prepared some things to be able to leave. And no, she didn't pack or anything. He started moving things to specific places, she left notes, boxes, and other things throughout the house. And when it was finally over, she handed Peri a bank card and a paper, saying "Take off your shoe"  
"What?" Peri asked, not understanding anything  
"Take off your shoe"  
Peridot obeyed. She took off her right shoe and looked at Lapis waiting for instructions.  
"Put those things in there"  
Peri obeyed, and put the shoe back on, feeling the card on the sole of the foot "Why?" she asked, as he tied the laces  
"It's safer than carrying it in a wallet. The wallet may be lost, but you'll surely keep your shoe" Lapis answered, looking at the time on her blue watch  
"And what's that?"  
"It's my card. The PIN is on the paper"  
"Your card?"  
"Yes. There's a lot of money there, you understand? Enough so you can live a happy middle-class life without having to work"  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yes. I've done many favors"  
"Why should I take it?"  
"It's a promise"  
"A promise?"  
"We are together now, Peri. I hope you understand that. Now everything mine is yours. All that money is as much yours as mine, you understand? And if you decide to run away without me or something... At least I'll be sure you won't have problems with money"  
"I would never leave without you. I failed you once, I can't do it again"  
Lapis looked through the windows, maybe to check that there was no one outside.  
"Great" she replied, distracted "Then let's go"  
"But we don't pack clothes or anything..."  
"Peri, we're fucking rich. We can buy clothes in Florence"  
"You really wanna go to Florence, right?"  
"Yep"  
Peridot giggled. Lapis rubbed her face with her hands and shook her head, as if to make sure she wasn't asleep or something. Peri was mesmerized by the movement of her blue locks.  
"Ready?"  
"Of course" Peridot answered  
This was simply amazing. She left her house believing she would die. But no, she was going to go to another country with the love of her life to be able to create a new life. No more drugs, no more mafia. Only them two.  
The time has come. Peridot smiled at Lapis, while she opened the door to finally be able to leave that city.  
All that happiness lasted only a couple of seconds  
As soon as Lapis put one foot out, someone caught her. Peridot could hardly react on what was happening. She saw Lapis fight a little, but in the end, she ended up lying face down, with one knee on her back to keep her from getting up. Above her was Jasper, who had a great smile of self-sufficiency, and held Lapis' arms, while she tried to let go. It was clear that she couldn't do it. Lapis was small and thin, while Jasper was huge.  
Peridot reacted when she heard Lapis let out moans of pain. Shit! If Jasper keep her that way, she would suffocate her. Peri would have done something, even leaned forward to take a step, but suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, and saw Yellow Diamond, who wasn't looking at her but at Lapis, who spat out the dirt that entered her mouth when she fell to the ground.  
"Good job, Peri" the woman said "You're great lying to your girlfriend"  
Peridot felt a panic attack. At that moment, Lapis looked at her. She didn't say anything, but in her eyes, she could see it. Lapis was very, very hurt. But Peridot was so scared that she couldn't even open her mouth to say _'Don't believe it, this is not my fault!'_  
"So this is the girl with the blue mane" Yellow Diamond commented, looking at Lapis derogatively "The famous Lapis Lazuli. Peri has told me a lot about you. Just look at this! She brought me here, so I could capture you myself"  
Lapis continued to look at Peridot, her eyes full of tears. Peri began to shake her head, as the words refused to come out of her throat. No! No, no, no! This can't true, Yellow wasn't there, she was dreaming! Lapis wasn't trapped! She had a plan, always had a plan. She was going to escape at any moment... right?  
"The girl with the blue mane" Yellow repeated, before throwing more dirt with her foot to Lapis' face "I thought I was going to meet a strong and intelligent woman. A worthy opponent. And I come to meet a girl who just left puberty behind? I thought my sister would be more careful when choosing her employees, and wouldn't hire a girl who barely learned to wipe her nose"  
Lapis opened her mouth to respond, but the pressure of the knee on her back didn't let her speak.  
"Lapis" Peri mumbled "Lapis, I'm...!"  
She couldn't finish the sentence. At Yellow Diamond's signal, Jasper hit Lapis hard on the back of the head. Lapis fell unconscious immediately. Jasper stood up and carried Lapis on her shoulders.  
Yellow Diamond looked at Peridot for the first time and said "You really thought you'd get away with it? For a moment you thought you were smarter than me?"  
"Please" Peri begged, her eyes full of tears, clinging from the woman's long coat "Please... let her go. She... She doesn't deserve to be hurt! You can do to me whatever you want, but let Lapis go"  
"I decide that, don't you think?"  
Before she could say anything else, Peri felt that she was hit hard on the head, and everything went black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys! And I have to tell you... the next chapter will be worse :'v I hope you are mentally prepared.  
> Let me know if you liked this chapter aaaaand thank you for reading :3


	8. Painkiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow was waiting for this moment for a long time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP  
> Guys, are you sure you want to read this? This is... not gonna be nice. Be careful.

When Peridot finally woke up, she realized how much her head hurt. Her first instinct was to rub her temples with her hands, but she couldn't. Then she noticed that she was handcuffed around a pipe. Yes, she was sitting on a chair, with her hands up, handcuffed to a pipe. She also noticed that she had duct tape over her mouth.  
Suddenly, she remembered all that had happened, and she felt completely desperate. Where she was? Where was Lapis? What was going to happen now?!  
Her initial bewilderment was interrupted by a long, sharp and anguished moan. Peridot looked forward for the first time, and her heart felt relief and complete terror at the same time. Lapis was several feet away. The good side is that she was conscious, fully awake, and had no visible wound. The bad side was that, like Peri, she was also immobilized in a chair, but hers was one of those office chairs with wheels. She wasn't facing Peridot, but rather Peri can see her profile. Peri could see that she was also handcuffed, and her feet were tied with duct tape. A piece of duc tape was over her mouth as well.  
In case it wasn't bad enough, Lapis was crying. Yes, although Peri couldn't see her eyes since they were hidden under her blue hair, she could see her tears running down her cheeks. And to make matters worse, Jasper was sitting in a chair, very close to Lapis. She smiled mockingly, and Peri heard her say, "C'mon, beauty, I don't think it was so terrible..."  
Peridot felt her blood freeze. What? What had just happened?! What had Jasper done to Lapis?! Peri tried to scream, but all she managed was a dull sound. Both Jasper and Lapis looked at her. Peri felt her heart speed up when she saw Lapis in the eye. She was scared. The girl, who looked like someone invincible, strong and who didn't fear anything, was scared. Peri could see it in her watery eyes. No, this couldn't be happening...  
"What's up, Peri?" Jasper said "How long have you been awake? You saw it? Want some of that?"  
Peridot didn't understand anything. She began to shake her hands, in effort to break free.  
"You really pissed my diamond off" Jasper commented, stroking Lapis' hair, who shook her head to push the woman away "You're going to pay dearly... But cheer up, Peri! It won't be as bad as what she'll do to Lapis"  
Peri screamed, although the tape drowned out her voice. What did she want to say?! She couldn't let her hurt Lapis! Lapis didn't... Lapis didn't deserve this! Lapis was good, Lapis...  
The door opened. Jasper stood up and walked away from Lapis. Yellow Diamond entered the room, followed by Pearl. Lapis looked at her with hate. Peridot had to admit that this girl had guts. She was still crying, but even so, she dared to give Yellow a defiant look.  
The woman was smoking a cigarette. She stopped in front of Lapis, smiled and took a puff before saying "The girl with the blue mane. God, you're even more pathetic up close"  
Then, without warning and with a very quick movement, she punched Lapis in the face. It was a sudden, forceful blow, and Peri feared she had broken Lapis' jaw or something. It was a great relief to see Lapis looking at her again. Oh, she was okay!  
At least she believed that until she saw blood drain under the tape to Lapis' chin, and from there, it dripped to her lap. Peri shouted "Lapis!" but again, the tape made her words just muffled.  
Yellow Diamond took Lapis' bangs and forced her face up. Lapis winced. Peri could see that Yellow had the locks of hair tight in her hand, as if she wanted to tear them out. With the other hand, she took the cigarette out of her mouth, and blew the smoke at Lapis' face before saying "I've been waiting for this moment for so long... You really hurt me with your actions, you know? But... I don't allow anyone to make fun of me"  
Saying that, she put out her cigarette in Lapis' neck, holding her firmly by the hair so she wouldn't move. Lapis cried out in pain. Still with the tape over her mouth, it was a heartrending scream. Peridot began to pull the handcuffs. Oh god, she felt so useless... She had to do something! She had to save Lapis.  
"Did you really think you were gonna be able to hide from me?!" Yellow exclaimed, releasing Lapis' hair with disdain "You thought you could hide under my sister's skirt all the time! But no, now you belong to me. She won't come to save you. No one will come to save you. You're going to learn not to mess with me!"  
The woman threw several hits in a row against the girl's face. Peridot couldn't see that! It was such a horrible scene... Lapis was small and helpless, while the woman was huge, and anyone would be intimidated by the rage on her face. Peri tried to look at the handcuffs to see if she could see a weaker link or something that could help her escape... or maybe she just wanted to stop watching the beating that Yellow Diamond was giving Lapis. She could stop seeing it, but nothing was going to stop Peri from hearing the blows and the groans of pain from Lapis.  
What was she going to do? She couldn't just sit and watch that. Was that the punishment that Yellow Diamond was giving to her? Watch how she tortured the love of her life? 'Cause if it was like that... it was horrible. Peri would give anything to be her, and not Lapis, in whom Yellow was unleashing her fury. It was all her fault, everything was her fault...  
"It's funny how you can no longer trust people today, right?" Yellow said. Lapis wasn't looking at her anymore. The girl was looking at the floor. Peridot could see blood dripping "That girl over there, for example...! She made you fall in love with her, but she betrayed you, and now you're here"  
Lapis looked at Peri. The blue-haired girl had a face full of punches, which would soon be bruises. Her nose was bleeding, and she even had some cuts, perhaps caused by the ring that Yellow wore. The ears mixed with the blood on her face. Peridot shook her head, trying to make her understand that Yellow was lying.  
"Oh, c'mon Peridot, don't be shy" Yellow taunted "Didn't you say you couldn't wait for the day when you could kill her? Good thing you didn't do it, or I wouldn't have a chance to have fun now. Thank you"  
After this, she pulled a knife from her coat. The blade was a bright silver color and it looked very sharp. Peridot let out a desperate sob. Lapis, on the other hand, only accelerated the rhythm of her breathing.  
"You trusted her a lot, aren't you?" Yellow said to Lapis, resting the flat part of the blade on Lapis' cheek "How did she pay you? She gave me so much information about you that I'm about to capture my beloved sister too... Your _mommy_ , as you call her" she put the knife on Lapis' neck "It's a shame she's not here. I would love to kill her in front of you. Or better yet, let her see what I do to her little girl"  
She plunged the point of the knife into Lapis' neck, and a trickle of blood began to slide from there to get lost under her tank top. Lapis' breathing grew louder, but she didn't move. Of course, if she moved, the sharp knife could slice through her neck. Peridot was pulling the chain so tight that the handcuffs began to dig into her wrists. She knew she couldn't break them, but she had no other plan. She heard Jasper giggle at seeing her so desperate.  
"What's wrong Peri?" Yellow said, plunging the point of the knife a bit more. Lapis groaned in pain "Does it bother you to see me do this to your girlfriend? Did you think she was some kind of indestructible superhero or something? But everyone has their kryptonite, right? You were hers, precisely. Don't forget it Peri, this is thanks to you "  
Peridot felt horrible. She wanted to vomit, to cry, to scream...  
"What do you think, Lapis?" Yellow continued "You made everyone believe you're strong, but it's not true. Just look at yourself now, you can't even stop crying. You're not different from any girl in this city. Except you're more stupid. You thought that hiding behind this image you could have some power. But you don't have power. I'm the boss. And you know what? The girl with the blue mane must disappear once and for all"  
The woman pulled out the knife, leaving a small wound on Lapis' neck. The girl lowered her head, relieved. Yellow walked slowly to stand behind the girl, took the knife with her hand, with the other took Lapis' bangs and forced her face up once more. Peri thought she was going to stab her on the neck once and for all, but no. What the woman did was cut Lapis' bangs almost to the roots, and then drop it into the lap of the girl. Without the bangs, the girl's eyes were completely exposed. They were full of fear. Lapis began to sob again and tried to shout something that wasn't understood very well. In the end, the words _'No, please!'_ could be distinguished a little. Peri also began to cry. It could be shocking to see Lapis so scared, but of course, Peri must remember that after all Lapis was just a girl. She wasn't a monster, she had no superpowers. She was just a girl who liked to eat nachos and watch cartoons.  
Yellow picked up several locks of Lapis' hair again violently, but Lapis shook her head to free herself. Yellow giggled and said "Jasper, do you want to hold our friend? We don't want to hurt her, right?"  
Jasper stepped forward and held Lapis by the chin. The girl closed her eyes, letting out a moan. Yellow looked at Peri and said "Let's see how pretty she looks to you after this"  
The woman took large locks of blue hair and chopped them off with the knife, throwing them to the floor with disdain. Lapis was still crying anxiously, asking her to stop. Peri couldn't stand it. She closed her eyes. She couldn't see how that horrible woman humiliated Lapis like that in front of her. If she couldn't escape, she wanted to disappear, to leave there so she didn't have to be present in that ritual of revenge. She kept her eyes closed, but she heard Lapis sobbing, Jasper and Pearl giggling, and the sound of the knife cutting Lapis' hair.  
"You're..." _snip_ "... nothing." _snip_ "I hope this..." _snip_ "... reminds you..." _snip_ "... that this is..." _snip_ "... just a disguise"  
After several minutes, the sounds stopped, except for the ones that Lapis made when she sobbed. Peri heard footsteps, and a dragging sound. Then, she felt a presence very close to her. She opened her eyes slowly, and saw Yellow Diamond standing in front of her. Peri jumped a little. The woman giggled and held a few locks of blue hair right in front of Peri's nose, saying "Done. No more _girl with the blue mane_ "  
She put those locks into Peri's pocket. Then she pulled away from the front, and Peri saw that the dragging noise was caused by Yellow rolling the chair where Lapis was to put her in front of her. Lapis had her head down and was sobbing loudly. Peri felt a hole in her stomach when she noticed that the girl's beautiful messy mane had disappeared. Beyond, there were lots and lots of blue hair on the floor.  
The woman took Lapis by the chin and forced her to raise her head, saying "Look at her, Peridot. Is this your superhero? "  
Lapis looked kinda strange without her blue hair framing her face. Now her head was covered by short dark brown hair, which in some parts reached an inch, and in others it was so short that she could see her scalp. But there wasn't even the slightest trace of blue. Beyond the marks of blows, Peridot could see that an intense blush had spread across the Lapis' cheeks, who had her eyes closed, still shaking with sobs.  
"Oh c'mon, stop crying. You really needed a haircut. It was time to take off that hero mask that you put yourself" Yellow said, running her hand over Lapis' shaved head "You're not the girl with the blue mane anymore. You're nothing, you understand? Nothing"  
Peridot looked away for a moment. She couldn't see Lapis like that, she knew that she must feel very humiliated, and she didn't want to be a part of this. Yellow laughed at this and said "You don't want to look at her, Peri? She doesn't seem pretty anymore, right? I understand. I would also feel sorry for seeing her. She's pathetic, don't you think? It's logical that you are ashamed of her"  
No. Peri couldn't let Lapis believe that. Even if she didn't want to, she turned and looked at her. She had not stopped sobbing. Yellow then took one of the corners of the duc tape that covered Lapis' mouth and pulled it off. The first thing the girl did was spit a lot of blood. Peridot even saw what appeared to be a tooth fall to the floor. Lapis coughed, spitting all the blood that had remained in her mouth after so many blows she received. Then, she looked at Yellow and said "Fuck you, bitch"  
"You have guts, I recognize you" the woman said, patting her on the cheek "It's a pity that it's not going to help you now. I'll give you a chance to live if you tell me where my sister is hiding"  
Lapis spat a little more blood on the woman's face. She took the back of the chair and threw it on the floor. Peri heard how Lapis' head hit the floor, and she cried out in terror.  
Yellow pulled out a handkerchief and wiped her face. Lapis let out small moans of pain. Then, the woman came up and gave a strong kick in the girl's ribs, shouting "Don't you dare to disrespect me!"  
She nodded to Jasper. Jasper came over and lifted the chair and Lapis off the floor. Then, she threw the girl back to the chair. Peri saw that a huge scratch had appeared on Lapis' forehead, and the blood ran down her eye, along her eyebrow scar. She had to close her eye. Peri noticed that the duc tape of Lapis' feet had broken with the fall... Oh god, if she could got run...  
"I'm going to ask you one more time" Yellow said softly, stroking Lapis' short hair "Where's my sister hiding?"  
Lapis didn't respond. She just looked at the woman with hatred. _'Run'_ Peridot thought _'You can run, get out of here...'_  
"You do not want to talk, huh? I'll make you talk"  
Yellow looked at the girl's feet and smiled. Peridot felt a cold sweat as she saw the woman take out the knife again. Before she could understand what she's going to do, Yellow plunged her knife into Lapis' thigh. The girl screamed in pain. Peri wondered how she had endured so much... Oh my god, that's enough! It was enough... If there was no hope, she wishes Yellow would kill her... That was better than being tortured in that way.  
"Tell me Lapis, be a good girl" Yellow asked again, pulling out the knife with the blade full of blood  
Peri prayed for Lapis to spoke. She wish she did, but she knew she wouldn't. The girl stared at Yellow, without saying a word. Yellow nodded. Then, she made another signal to Jasper. She approached Lapis from behind and forced her to get up. She took some keys out of her pocket and removed the handcuffs, but at no time did she release her arms. In fact, what happened was that she took Lapis' right arm violently and applied a kind of wrestlin hold. Lapis moaned in pain.  
"It's not time to show off your loyalty. Speak now" Yellow ordered  
Lapis just stared at her. Yellow sighed and nodded to Jasper. Peri could close her eyes in time, but still she heard a horrible crack, and Lapis' scream pierced her ears. Then, she heard a thud.  
"Last chance" Yellow warned  
Peri dared to look again. Lapis was now on the floor, between the locks of blue hair, sobbing. Her right arm was at an unnatural angle, broken. Yellow despaired, and went to her, taking her by the tank top and forcing her to get up. Lapis sobbed a little before lifting her head and saying between sobs "Kill me. I'm not gonna say anything"  
Yellow took a deep breath, furious. She throwed Lapis to the floor again. Then, she looked at Peridot, and approached her. Peridot felt her blood freeze, and she felt excruciating pain when Yellow removed the duc tape from her mouth. She cried out in pain.  
"What are you doing?!" Lapis exclaimed, trying to get to her feet, but she winced and let herself fall again. Blood gushed from her leg "Leave her alone!" she demanded  
Yellow ignored her. Jasper came over and handed her the keys, and Yellow took the handcuffs from Peridot. She barely understood what was happening, when Yellow gave Jasper a signal. The girl approached and gave her gun to Yellow, who in turn gave it to Peri, stood her up by pulling her by the hoodie and said "Kill her"  
Peri and Lapis gasped. Peridot looked at the gun in her hands and said "W-what?"  
"Kill Lapis. C'mon"  
"What?! No! I-I..."  
"If you kill her now, I'm gonna forgive you for everything you did. Kill her. I'll give you your money and I'll never look for you again"  
Peridot looked at her without understanding. No, no, she couldn't do it...  
Yellow let out a sigh and pulled her own gun from her coat. She loaded it and pointed at Peridot's head, saying "Kill Lapis. I'll give you your money, I'll let you go, and I won't blow your brains out "  
"No!" she exclaimed "I can't!"  
"Peri..." Lapis said, her voice broken, staring at her "Peri, do it"  
"Listen to her" Yellow muttered, smiling "C'mon Peri, you know it's the best. Show her that you care more about your money than her life "  
"Do it!" Lapis shouted "Shoot me and go away! Do it, please!"  
"Do it, Peridot"  
"Peri, please, do it... I understand, I really understand. Shoot now"  
"I can't, Lapis" Peri cried, her hands trembling  
"Yes, you can! Please, I want you to be safe..."  
"No!"  
"Do it now, damn it!"  
Yellow laughed and said "Do it or..."  
Peri let out a cry of anguish. Then, she shoots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.  
> I'll be waiting for your comments :v


End file.
